tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106951942024-03-07T15:55:48.266-08:00Half the FunThe blog and temporary website of author Daisy BatemanDaisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.comBlogger1178125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-46163453221490053282020-01-01T21:54:00.000-08:002019-05-16T22:43:34.884-07:00BIG NEWS!I wrote a book! And it's going to be published! This is more exclamation points than I used in the entire manuscript!!!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTNjojmnzzp2bchIo1viQ_C8Or87q-NHusW_A-ahZKz3lDkaLHCPt-TyLK1Ku9XZahcE6k0FVwk_5s1k5NE3vLX9768JXaxIn4ex6UDSnNqYRQqM4iG6RpWHNhERz_QA-MSTfa0g/s1600/fullsizeoutput_5.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="395" data-original-width="640" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTNjojmnzzp2bchIo1viQ_C8Or87q-NHusW_A-ahZKz3lDkaLHCPt-TyLK1Ku9XZahcE6k0FVwk_5s1k5NE3vLX9768JXaxIn4ex6UDSnNqYRQqM4iG6RpWHNhERz_QA-MSTfa0g/s320/fullsizeoutput_5.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
Yay!<br />
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(Actual website coming soon!) Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-30973870351619233032019-05-16T19:54:00.002-07:002019-05-16T19:54:16.494-07:00Dispatch From Malice DomesticThis year, for the first time, I went to Malice Domestic, an annual conference devoted to traditional mysteries and the people who love them.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSEt85QaKJiUI43Wn7PNjkJfX5E1xEi-3IbiMZoXveQqMVlILCuGPq-k29HlQF8VANm3wNnIrTvPqR6qJowTST3KkZWb00uaOwjj6gwoJ5xi5m03nWtuBqyyGIhDVE66zYhcwmWQ/s1600/IMG_1370.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSEt85QaKJiUI43Wn7PNjkJfX5E1xEi-3IbiMZoXveQqMVlILCuGPq-k29HlQF8VANm3wNnIrTvPqR6qJowTST3KkZWb00uaOwjj6gwoJ5xi5m03nWtuBqyyGIhDVE66zYhcwmWQ/s320/IMG_1370.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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The Marriott was a great venue, but we didn't exactly have the place to ourselves--On the same night as the opening party, a local high school was holding their prom in the next ballroom over. Which made for an interesting contrast in the crowds, to say the least.<br />
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As we were coming by, the DJ was playing a Kanye West's "Gold Digger," which had me thinking about these young people and their young people music, until it occurred to me that when that song came out, most of them would have been toddlers.<br />
<br />
Anyway.<br />
<br />
Speaking of my incredibly advanced age, one thing I am going to have to learn, if I intend to get better at this social media thing, is selfies. I made only one attempt this time, with the help of the selfie-adept and all-around lovely Lori Rader-Day, and I think it turned out all right. Next time, two!<br />
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That's all for now. Until <a href="http://malicedomestic.org/" target="_blank">next year</a>!<br />
<br />Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-32522818017238794782017-04-03T08:25:00.000-07:002017-04-03T08:26:33.898-07:00Avocado and Banana Are Friends<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZp2l6Usmza6iiGsaKEhD9VMhbQuJx72AZ57fpYl9ddWMPa8JNDVhPOilr1jXCVO5GGfQl6NVckhmMJd7ZStMi8E3OGJMp6r9XSY5q_jRo4DHYg8ge9Yps_tDVCsUJs6Tz4Mv6uQ/s1600/IMG_1045.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZp2l6Usmza6iiGsaKEhD9VMhbQuJx72AZ57fpYl9ddWMPa8JNDVhPOilr1jXCVO5GGfQl6NVckhmMJd7ZStMi8E3OGJMp6r9XSY5q_jRo4DHYg8ge9Yps_tDVCsUJs6Tz4Mv6uQ/s320/IMG_1045.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Avocado: Yo.<br />
Banana: 'Sup.<br />
Avocado: You new?<br />
Banana: Yup.<br />
Avocado: Mail order?<br />
Banana: Yup.<br />
Avocado: Cool. Same.<br />
Banana: Dude. How's it here?<br />
Avocado: 'S cool. Gets kinda hot.<br />
Banana: I'm into it.<br />
Avocado: Cool.<br />
Banana: . . .<br />
Avocado: . . .<br />
Banana: See you round?<br />
Avocado: Yup.<br />
<br />Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-9396646804559081752016-12-05T09:53:00.000-08:002016-12-05T09:53:46.483-08:00Pictured and Not Pictured: An Incomplete Photographic Record of a Trip to France and LondonOnce upon a time, this was a travel blog. It's been a while, but since we recently took our biggest trip in a while, I thought it should be again, if only briefly. (And yes, these are the same photos and descriptions I posted on Facebook. If you saw them there, you can probably skip this.)<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="true" frameborder="0" height="366" mozallowfullscreen="true" src="https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/e/2PACX-1vRrgu9N61jxyt-IVb7_tFquC_J-Nv3bUlqCh7WkDYeE3dOBz4dHx6u7Mc7Pm2UBat-RgfkcOoPKUfvz/embed?start=false&loop=false&delayms=60000" webkitallowfullscreen="true" width="600"></iframe> Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-11982500779291231702016-02-25T07:34:00.000-08:002016-02-25T07:35:48.588-08:00American Idol S1E1: The KellyeningIf you're not watching the current we-swear-this-is-the-final-season of American Idol, there's something you need to know: They are really, really into Kelly Clarkson. To hear her discussed on the current show, you would think she is some sort of combination of God and Beyonce, and it is a testament to the great power and wisdom of Idol that they immediately seized on her talent and presented her like a gift to the world.<br />
<br />
In fact, the winner of the first season was basically presented as cannon fodder for the first several episodes, to the point where I don't even remember what she sang for her Top 30 song. I guess we'll find out together.<br />
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<br />
0:06 Second visible appearance of Kelly Clarkson on the show! Still have not heard her speak or sing.<br />
<br />
0:07 Justin is here too!<br />
<br />
0:53 I just want to take a moment and talk about how young Ryan Seacrest looks here, compared to his appearance on the current season. I mean, yes, I know, I looked younger in 2002 too, and I may have also owned that shirt, but the dude hasn't aged so much as transmogrified. I seriously think that part of the deal for buying Dick Clark's production company was that he had to take on some sort of curse, and now the eldrich forces are slowly turning him into Mr. Clark. Meanwhile, trapped somewhere in a garret, Brian Dunkleman grows ever younger. . .<br />
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3:58 Alexis Lopez, seventeen years old and rocking a look that's half jailbait/half elderly-lounge-singer. She sings "I Will Survive" because of course she does.<br />
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6:55 Gil Sinuet is the winner of this week's where-are-they-now search, thanks to his easily-Googleable name and the fact that I do not have the slightest recollection of him being on the show. He appears to have <a href="https://youtu.be/zbnB3kHmaQQ" target="_blank">sung the national anthem at a Jets game</a> in 2011, backed by the Junior ROTC of Wyandanch High School color guard, as the result of winning some sort of national anthem contest, and his <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1306580/" target="_blank">IMDB page</a> asserts that he is Marc Anthony's cousin, which frankly raises more questions than it answers. His "Ribbon in the Sky" is resoundingly average.<br />
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10:48 Dunkleman reads comments from the website, with bonus gay panic for Simon!<br />
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11:36 Angela Peel looks great, sings the second Whitney cover in two weeks. Remember when corset tops were a thing? I figure we're about three weeks away from a comeback. Angela, not so much.<br />
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14:27 AJ Gill is pleasantly nonthreatening and wearing a pukka shell choker. He is also singing the most contemporary song of the night. Pretty sure "All or Nothing" is no more than ten years old. (Acutally, I Googled it and it's from 2001, by O-Town, which could not possibly be more right.)<br />
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17:57 I know I'm talking too much about the outfits, but Tenia Taylor is seriously dressed as the Marilyn Monroe character from a high school production of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Was the costume department out of elbow-length gloves. (Whitney cover count is now at 3. That is fully 20% of the total performances in this round so far.)<br />
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21:31 Alexandra Bachelier, alleged best friend of Tenia and midriff enthusiast is up next. She is learning about online comment sections on live TV, and it's not pretty. In the interest of sparing her further pain, I will refrain on commenting on her performance.<br />
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25:07 Jazmin Lowery is the first person in this lot who is not wearing something that she would make someone delete if they posted a Throwback Thursday photo of it on Facebook. (That sentence would not have made any sense in 2002, by the way.)<br />
<br />
25:46 Okay, I made that last comment before I realized it was basically a transparent bed jacket and a bra. Looks like we're 0-for-7.<br />
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26:31 She sounds nice, but it's not contemporary or showy enough for this show. (I have the advantage of knowing that this is the last we ever see of her.)<br />
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28:26 Jamar. Jamar has one name, like Cher. Unlike Cher, he is wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Also, I don't recall her ever doing a seriously below-average cover of "Careless Whisper." He really doesn't have that much in common with Cher, aside from the one-name thing.<br />
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31:17 It appears the last two performers of the night are Justin and Kelly. Maybe the producers aren't so dumb after all.<br />
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31:47 Kelly speaks!<br />
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32:16 And this is the point in the season when we first hear her sing. Her cover is "Respect" and it is good.<br />
<br />
33:57 Simon: "I thought it was good, but I couldn't remember you from the previous rounds." I imagine he is telling that story a little differently these days.<br />
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36:04 Justin Guarini gets himself the featured final spot as a follow-up to his big moment from the Pasadena auditions singing "Get Here." (Full disclosure: at this point in the original run I was 100% pro-Justin.) His is our second "Ribbon in the Sky" of the night, which is an interesting choice, on several levels. How bad was the budget for this season anyway?<br />
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41:36 Don't forget, these are 866 numbers!Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-35317417454809278272016-02-10T22:18:00.001-08:002016-02-10T22:18:12.918-08:00All the Things that Happened on S1E4 of American Idol: Group 1 Results Show0:11 Opening credits.<br />
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0:43 Ryan and Brian are both wearing khakis.<br />
<br />
2:04 Paula tries to deliver a zinger, fails badly.<br />
<br />
4:23 I am reasonably confident that Ryan is NOT wearing a pukka shell necklace.<br />
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8:03 Tamyra Gray is the first person put through to the next round.<br />
<br />
10:38 "Weakest Link" joke.<br />
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13:26 Ryan Starr gets the second spot in the top 10.<br />
<br />
16:18 Jim Verraros is the third finalist. There are over four minutes left in the show.<br />
<br />
17:38 Everyone in the finalist chairs is wearing a choker. 2002!<br />
<br />
20:01 End credits.Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-55943624745808465682016-02-08T18:22:00.000-08:002016-02-08T18:23:53.777-08:00Not-Exactly-Live-Blogging American Idol S1E3: Top 30 Group 1And now, into the depths we go. This is it, the opening of public
voting, as the 30 who were put through from Hollywood-Pasadena Week are
narrowed down to however many we end up with. I can't be sure, but I
suspect that this may have been when I started caring deeply about the
voting results.<br />
<br />
1:21 Explanation time! It's 10 singers
to elimination, 9 from voting and the judge's wildcard. This would be
much less fun if my memory was better.<br />
<br />
1:30 It looks like they're holding this in the lobby of a Ramada Inn conference center.<br />
<br />
2:59 Paula seems to have had a new face installed here. I don't think it took.<br />
<br />
3:55
Reminder that calls are toll-free "unless you use a cell phone" and no
number for texting votes. Was 2002 really that long ago?<br />
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4:17
Eventual favorite Tamyra Gray is up first. Does a solid version of "And
I Am Telling You (I'm Not Going)" that falls into the common trap of
being more "look at me, I'm singing!" than tragic desperation. Still,
probably the best singer we're going to hear this episode.<br />
<br />
8:06
Jim Verraros sings "When I Fall In Love," which I believe was just sung
by one of the non-threatening heartthrobs of the current season, with
slightly higher production values.<br />
<br />
9:53 Simon deploys a prepared zinger, to the expected response.<br />
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11:06
I have no recollection of Adriel Herrera, which is surprising, since I
wouldn't think I could ever forget a shirt that ugly.<br />
<br />
11:39 Oh, god, I hadn't even seen the pants.<br />
<br />
12:06 American Idol rendition of "I'll Be," number 2 of infinity.<br />
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14:08 I have no information as to how this young African-American woman came to be named <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhodesia" target="_blank">Rodesia</a>; I will only say that if you are a new parent (or a teenager choosing a stage name), Google is your friend.<br />
<br />
14:43 On the other hand, she's singing a Monkee's song, so maybe she was raised by white supremacists.<br />
<br />
17:29 Just in case you forgot what year this was, here's Brian Dunkleman explaining websites. <br />
<br />
18:10
The recipient of this week's random contestant googling is Natalie
Burge. Not much about her out there, actually, unless she's gone into
graphic design. Maybe this is what happens to you if you sing Patsy
Cline wearing fingerless gloves. Let this be a lesson.<br />
<br />
20:15 "Jim's getting hugs from every girl here." Oh, guys, no. Nice try, but no.<br />
<br />
20:50
Brad (didn't bother learning his last name) has the logo from a Pontiac
Firebird tattooed on his shoulder. He calls it a phoenix. Nice meeting
you, Brad.<br />
<br />
24:52 The age of the songs they're getting
really betrays how low the budget was for this season. I don't think
anyone in the current season has been stuck singing about "frim-fram
sauce."<br />
<br />
27:19 Justin Waddell has noticed that he didn't
get much exposure in the audition episodes, and he's making up for lost
time by exposing as much of himself as Standards & Practices will
allow. On the other hand, maybe he just got a look at the shirts they
were handing out and decided to pass.<br />
<br />
30:57 Kelli Glover: midriff & Whitney. You can guess the song.<br />
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32:48 Substantive musical comment from Randy! I forgot that that was something that could happen.<br />
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34:36 Kelli appears to have no idea that Whitney's version was a cover. This does not bode well.<br />
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35:58
Maybe it's just the terrible image quality on this
definitely-totally-legit Chinese site which was the only place I could
find this episode, but Christopher Aaron's pants appear to be made out
of some sort of high-gloss rubber.<br />
<br />
36:25 So, Tamyra help him pick them out? I smell sabotage.<br />
<br />
37:20 That's a lot of falsetto. Maybe it's just the pants squeaking?<br />
<br />
And that's it. Up next, the announcement of three names stretched out over half an hour. See you there.Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-86190851607608265372016-01-20T15:03:00.002-08:002016-01-20T15:03:55.278-08:00Not-Exactly-Live-Blogging American Idol Season 1 Episode 2: Not-Exactly-Hollywood WeekThe first ever "Hollywood" Week was held in Pasadena, which is at least somewhat closer to being Hollywood than Anaheim is to being Los Angeles, so they're already one up on a certain major league baseball team.<br />
<br />
Personally, I never cared much for Hollywood week, wherever it was located. There were rarely any memorable performances, and the way the challenges are set up, if you tried to do them for a sociology experiment, someone from your institution's Human Subjects committee would come and have a very stern talk with you. But at least in the first season it all took place over one episode, rather than the bloated, ratings-chasing deathmarch it would become in later years.<br />
<br />
(I'm pretty sure I really liked this show, but reading that last paragraph over again I'm not so sure. Perhaps this is just an elaborate trick I'm playing on myself.)<br />
<br />
Anyway, on with the show.<br />
<br />
0:12 We open with a recap of the bad singers from last week, just in case you haven't gotten enough of the idea that there are people who have no talent for singing, but try anyway.<br />
<br />
03:24 First performer sings Aretha, first criticism from Simon is that she's too fat to be a star. We're off to a great start.<br />
<br />
03:46 "I don't believe that if Aretha entered this competition, she would win it." I'm not sure if I should be sorry or relieved that Twitter didn't exist for this episode. (Bear in mind, folks: This is the first singer we see. This is what they wanted to lead with.)<br />
<br />
05:47 A stab at justifying making the contestants work overnight is made, as being something they might have to do in the music business. Personally, I think they only rented the building for three days.<br />
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08:54 Who doesn't love a good forgotten-lyrics montage?<br />
<br />
09:27 Paula's dad! I had no recollection of this at all. He seems nice.<br />
<br />
09:48 Less than ten minutes in, and we have already heard about Jim Verraros's deaf parents twice.<br />
<br />
13:44 Time for some random contestant googling! Khaleef Chiles appears to have stuck with the showbiz thing, in the sense that he has made a <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1304459/" target="_blank">page for himself on IMDB</a> and appears to have written a <a href="http://www.discogs.com/artist/1403903-Khaleef-Chiles" target="_blank">song for Christina Milian</a>. All in all, not too bad for someone with only a <a href="http://www.whatnottosing.com/contestants.asp?id=29#.VpdDYFLjCr8" target="_blank">one-star rating</a> in the American Idol Internet Database.<br />
<br />
18:23 This episode's first (only?) glimpses of Kelly and Justin, in a
round-up of advancing contestants. Neither of them appear to have made
good decisions about their clothing.<br />
<br />
20:22 They've
stopped doing this thing where they let the losers get up on stage and
grasp at another fifteen seconds of fame by serially insulting the
judges? Because it's painful all over. Especially the part where Randy
tells the guy that he lost because he's fat and unstylish.<br />
<br />
23:56 Almost as uncomfortable: The staged banter in whatever Ford convertible they're flogging at this point in the past.<br />
<br />
25:31
Tamyra Gray makes her first impression, singing "Get Here." I think I
liked her? I know I never liked her mattress-striped pants.<br />
<br />
27:49
In a rare genuine moment, a singer forgets the words to her song, and
the other contestants, watching from the audience, sing along in a soft
chorus until she picks it back up.<br />
<br />
28:31 in unrelated
news, the policy of picking "singers" based on the quality of their abs
is starting to show its weakness here.<br />
<br />
30:50 First
singing appearance by Justin Guarini. Still no sign of Kelly, possibly
due to an insufficiency of midriff on her part.<br />
<br />
32:31
Ah yes, the "hilarious" sketch sequence of the hosts trying to break in
to spy on the judges' deliberations. Honestly, guys, 3-2-1 Contact had
better writing than this. At least teach us some multiplication tables
or something.<br />
<br />
37:03 There was an interesting cruelty to
the way they chose the finalists in the first few seasons by splitting
them up into groups that went through or were eliminated en masse. It
meant that, instead of just doubting their judgement of their own
talent, for what must have seemed like an interminable wait, the
contestants got to spend that time judging, and re-judging, and
questioning their conclusions about everyone else in the room with them.
Fun! But they couldn't drag the process out for an entire episode, so
obviously it had to go.<br />
<br />
39:45 Probably the best
make-it-sound-like-this-group-is-out-when-they're-safe the show ever
managed. Peripheral glimpses of Kelly. Clearly, at this point, the show
considered her canon fodder.Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-69922066283018346792016-01-09T22:18:00.001-08:002016-01-09T22:40:15.421-08:00Not-Exactly-Live-Blogging: American Idol Season 1, Episode 1There was a time in my life when I was very into American Idol. I mean, quite into it. On the road trip for which this blog was founded, I chose at least <a href="http://halfthefun.blogspot.com/2005/04/day-11-whole-lot-of-texas.html" target="_blank">one overnight stop</a> based on needing to be in my motel room in time to watch it. I think I may have even voted a couple of times. I'm not going to admit that I saw "From Justin to Kelly" in the theater, because who would admit to that? (Okay, I did. But at least I'll protect the privacy of the person I saw it with.*) I haven't watched it in a while, because you don't always keep loving the things you loved when you were twenty-five, but I've always maintained some affection for the show. So, when they announced that this was going to be the last season, I decided to check back in, for old time's sake. And maybe the nostalgia is getting to me, because after watching the first couple of episodes, I got that old, early-2000's urge to start blogging again.<br />
<br />
But I'm not going to blog the current season. There are plenty of people doing that who are more interesting about it than I am (I particularly recommend <a href="http://tvline.com/2016/01/06/american-idol-season-15-premiere-recap-jeneve-rose-mitchell-joshua-wicker/" target="_blank">Michael Slezak </a>at TVLine and <a href="http://www.vulture.com/tv/american-idol/" target="_blank">Dave Holmes</a> at Vulture). And I'm finding it difficult to summon enough emotion about these made-for-TV children to say anything more than "that was okay" and "that was less okay, but whatever, kids these days." So, instead, I thought I would look to the past, and blog about the first season, as long as nobody pulls the low-res clips on YouTube that are the only way I've found to watch it.<br />
<br />
Let's start at the very begining:<br />
<br />
Episode 1: <a href="http://articles.latimes.com/2002/jun/11" target="_blank">June 11, 2002</a><br />
<br />
0:02 We open with Ryan Seacrest and Brian Dunkleman introducing the show against a dark background, that lights up to reveal the Kodak Theater. I have to wonder: In this moment, what did Mr. Dunkleman think his future would hold? Did he believe that this was going to be the opportunity that would open the door to bigger and brighter things, to hosting red carpets and Rockin' New Year's Eve, and producing a multi-million-dollar reality TV franchise based on a fifth-string socialite with a sex tape? Or did he, even then, recognize the unstoppable force of ambition to his left, and already feel the icy grip of irrelevance closing around him?<br />
<br />
Or maybe he was just happy to have the paycheck. Hard to say.<br />
<br />
0:33 Original opening credits music, complete with cheesy CGI figures. Even after all this time, I still get a little frisson of excitement hearing it.<br />
<br />
1:28 It is explained that this is based on a British show. The hope is that it will be at least as successful.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>2:12 The judges are introduced for the first time. They are very serious.<br />
<br />
3:13 Remember how important Simon Cowell was for a while there? That was weird.<br />
<br />
3:33 Interesting aside: One of the notable features of the current season is that we never see people being told they can't sing. In general, I'm in favor of that; just being turned down should be a clear enough message, without holding up the hopeless for our entertainment. But in this episode, Simon talks about how the American public isn't ready to see the audition process for the cruel culling that it is, and I'm thinking now that there may be something to that.<br />
<br />
4:06 All of the auditions are going to be shown in this episode. Meanwhile, the season 15 audition round isn't scheduled to end until sometime in March.<br />
<br />
5:09 We get straight into it with a bad singer. Steven from Los Angeles doesn't seem to know that waving his hand like that will not cause him to hit the notes and, based on the size of his shirt, also does not know that he isn't six-five and three hundred pounds.<br />
<br />
5:28 First Simon takedown on this side of the Atlantic. It won't be the last.<br />
<br />
5:58 Bad singer montage. I feel like, in the current season, even the bad singers they show are better than this.<br />
<br />
6:23 First finalist appearance. Tiffany Montgomery, later to be known as Ryan Starr, wearing a shirt that she has cut open and tied the bottom part around her leg. (I assume she's posted a tutorial on Pinterest.) She is roundly praised, and wouldn't even make it to the judging round now.<br />
<br />
8:10 I've decided to google every fifth contestant and see if I can find out anything about their life after their moment in the spotlight (the numbering is to prevent bias), and we've come to the first one now. Cassandra Marine did not have a very good audition, and her corresponding lack of web presence suggests that, if she did continue to pursue a singing career, she did it under an assumed name. On the other hand, did you realize you can <a href="http://www.marinetraffic.com/ais/details/ships/shipid:976112/mmsi:304767000/imo:0/vessel:CASSANDRA" target="_blank">track container ships</a> for wherever they are in the world?<br />
<br />
10:20 First Mariah/Celine/Aretha name drop by Randy.<br />
<br />
11:05 Mean Simon montage. It's hard to remember a time when this felt fresh and surprising, and not scripted and rote.<br />
<br />
11:38 In the current season, there is a two-door system to be let into the room, so no one is coming back to argue unless they're allowed. In season 1, there's a curtain.<br />
<br />
16:14 Augh! Piercings! These people in Seattle are clearly devil worshipers.<br />
<br />
18:26 Random contestant googling #2: Karma Johnson. Appeared in a benefit performance with Sanjaya in 2007. Downside: Sanjaya. Upside: Showbiz!<br />
<br />
23:43 Finalist #2: A.J. Gill. I didn't even remember that anyone had auditioned with the national anthem.<br />
<br />
28:16 Finalist #3: Jim Verraros. The moment when Idol discovered the joys of the Sad Backstory. Deaf parents! (Also, this audition can stand as documentary evidence of the weakness of my gaydar. Dude was singing Celine Dion!)<br />
<br />
30:17 First Simon/Paula argument! This should be in their scrapbook. Also, I had to rewind, because I thought I missed the audition, but then I realized they had cut it, possibly because he was a Michael Jackson impersonator and they didn't have the rights. (Am I watching the syndicated version? Because that would explain why all of the finalists are showing up in full auditions.)<br />
<br />
44:24 I lost count of the contestants for a while there, so let's just google this one: Rose Thoma, not a good singer, doesn't take the news very well. Lists herself as an <a href="https://www.exploretalent.com/rosethoma" target="_blank">actress/model</a>. Needs to work on her grammar.<br />
<br />
47:39 Kelli Glover. I thought she was a finalist, but wikipedia says she only made it to the wild-card round. <br />
<br />
50:50 I couldn't remember why I remembered Kristin Holt, until she ran up to hug the judges and slid under the table. Oh, right.<br />
<br />
55:59 First appearance of "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain. One of a select class of songs that would become the bane of the regular Idol viewer's life.<br />
<br />
54:15 Kelly Clarkson flashes by in a photo montage of the other people who made it through from Dallas. Guess they didn't see that one coming.<br />
<br />
54:29 Ryan Seacrest takes over the narration, doesn't let Dunkleman get a word in edgewise. Dunkleman gets into a car to leave. I feel like maybe we're foreshadowing something here.<br />
<br />
55:34 Finalist Christina Christian appears with a deeply cringe-inducing love song for Simon. It also makes you realize that some songs show their lyrical weakness when you switch the gender.<br />
<br />
56:54 Unsurprisingly, <a href="http://amnesiasparkles2.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Amnesia Sparkles</a> has quite the web presence.<br />
<br />
60:50 Lots of midriff going on here.<br />
<br />
And, with that, we're out. No Justin Guarini, only the briefest glimpse of Kelly Clarkson, and I don't think Randy said "dawg" once. Clearly, the best is yet to come.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
*It was Mary.Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-37172887577136270902014-12-13T15:20:00.000-08:002014-12-13T15:20:04.028-08:00Welcome to Unseasonable FarmMotto: "Why not plant potatoes in October?"<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLwbUuhfx6jybVNwwDhwJNHTODQMUugl123G8PxXgzf6G8RQcIhjwCi1eIR1BpS9CsOOZT9hYL09iHQ6LqFObmAv26ng0c35bVkuVEcIJIJaozu7JwPwwJoHw_hFsMABMKFGEtPQ/s1600/IMG_0584.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLwbUuhfx6jybVNwwDhwJNHTODQMUugl123G8PxXgzf6G8RQcIhjwCi1eIR1BpS9CsOOZT9hYL09iHQ6LqFObmAv26ng0c35bVkuVEcIJIJaozu7JwPwwJoHw_hFsMABMKFGEtPQ/s1600/IMG_0584.JPG" height="303" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pictured but not visible: Recently sprouted parsnips.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
The favas are doing okay, but the peas are going to need some better support after the storm.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpwEhCeYYFlgDpTajREj4ZFDZOEztAGO7MaXzNDf6jCBGHsXnI7Pm9PKvZDtr2V8G3k6t4dQ1H9kYrZgmHbOkO8mHnMW0h9ZbfsWVH2RfriN-MGsE-L8T1yxqEafQ-eXFxjv6vAw/s1600/IMG_0574.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpwEhCeYYFlgDpTajREj4ZFDZOEztAGO7MaXzNDf6jCBGHsXnI7Pm9PKvZDtr2V8G3k6t4dQ1H9kYrZgmHbOkO8mHnMW0h9ZbfsWVH2RfriN-MGsE-L8T1yxqEafQ-eXFxjv6vAw/s1600/IMG_0574.JPG" height="298" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tiiimberrrr-peeaaas</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
Probably the last pepper harvest, though, unless we get a run of warm weather.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioWODUehgwfDkYbdDAm8X1mszIllrOmPG-CypT6LrY-apqZzq40ML3GFQUTk7yYzOmIlHJfH7uqNjKwmO8CxhP2X90cNJ6yGOqApXnG7WZ2OS_NS2JCdgw7PnrVmVhv6E-3Ma9mQ/s1600/IMG_0583.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioWODUehgwfDkYbdDAm8X1mszIllrOmPG-CypT6LrY-apqZzq40ML3GFQUTk7yYzOmIlHJfH7uqNjKwmO8CxhP2X90cNJ6yGOqApXnG7WZ2OS_NS2JCdgw7PnrVmVhv6E-3Ma9mQ/s1600/IMG_0583.JPG" height="310" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not that I'm being smug or anything. Okay, maybe a little smug.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
And, unfortunately, the pickling cucumbers aren't going to be ready in time for New Years.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHc1j51uLAzZzpSdMuwqR8v_JiHFgDzSbrtMAt-nKOAiXpUa3Vl3n0L3qco2_1HuVOH8BHdyBxY2OoFiJlzIy6EcRBoHGF9Oe3rgQ6K-ymqY7SOzzGUAWhjuW4iSBE7Ze2yKehlA/s1600/IMG_0579.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHc1j51uLAzZzpSdMuwqR8v_JiHFgDzSbrtMAt-nKOAiXpUa3Vl3n0L3qco2_1HuVOH8BHdyBxY2OoFiJlzIy6EcRBoHGF9Oe3rgQ6K-ymqY7SOzzGUAWhjuW4iSBE7Ze2yKehlA/s1600/IMG_0579.JPG" height="298" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I wasn't kidding about the unseasonable thing.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
Stay tuned for further adventures in planting things with no regard to the printed instructions.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-54707564142791368072014-12-11T15:47:00.001-08:002014-12-11T15:47:41.789-08:00Thanks Be To CatAs we prepare for this holiday season, let us not forget what it is truly about: Sending your cat to board at a place where they take vaguely seasonal pictures of him, and apparently give him a collar.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Ekebq3TL8SXnMLqh5CJ4lTESnwdJNrDFonWrSNQyjR5eqV3Rnusc6zMbSLNRCp3ConAM37W5GXABVCMyuRHv7ZHQpTJrauj8GlZvTdGaPAY3yc78hb1a41LGsQnW6ao2wVGRgw/s1600/Rumpole+J-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Ekebq3TL8SXnMLqh5CJ4lTESnwdJNrDFonWrSNQyjR5eqV3Rnusc6zMbSLNRCp3ConAM37W5GXABVCMyuRHv7ZHQpTJrauj8GlZvTdGaPAY3yc78hb1a41LGsQnW6ao2wVGRgw/s1600/Rumpole+J-2.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What do you want from me?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-52649584169887494232014-12-01T22:32:00.000-08:002014-12-01T22:32:37.640-08:00Items Available For Purchase, Possibly As GiftsAs I believe I have mentioned in this space a few times before, I have a <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/Musicallaneous?rf=238836063965079126" target="_blank">store on Zazzle</a>, where various items are for sale with designs I produced from pre-1923* sheet music covers. If you bought one of them, I would get some money, which would be pretty cool.<br />
<br />
This is the one that started it all, because I wanted a poster of this design and couldn't find one. I bought the sheet music on Ebay and had it scanned at a place in Berkeley that usually does much more artistic stuff, and then cleaned it up a bit in GIMP.** I think it turned out okay:<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_poster-228329258757165227?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="I Love You California Poster" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/i_love_you_california_poster-r10ea8d7c07764200bc711e249a56b223_idqkg_8byvr_325.jpg" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_poster-228329258757165227?rf=238836063965079126">I Love You California Poster</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
<br />
<br />
Then I learned how to do about three more things in GIMP and pulled out just the bear, and put it on a shirt:<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_t_shirts-235046505829811031?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="I Love You California T Shirts" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/i_love_you_california_t_shirts-rfb134a654d384dd99cc5732e1dce6f1d_vj7db_325.jpg" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_t_shirts-235046505829811031?rf=238836063965079126">I Love You California T Shirts</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Then I put it on some more things:<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_iphone_5_case-179471384100457418?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="I Love You California iPhone 5 Case" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/i_love_you_california_iphone_5_case-r232fa077a7df4071a5fc8aedc7e89fae_80cs8_8byvr_325.jpg" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_iphone_5_case-179471384100457418?rf=238836063965079126">I Love You California iPhone 5 Case</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
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<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_coffee_mug-168727227058013402?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="I Love You California Coffee Mug" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/i_love_you_california_coffee_mug-re421989b444d4ff0a778c24eb78be3dd_x7jgr_8byvr_325.jpg" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_coffee_mug-168727227058013402?rf=238836063965079126">I Love You California Coffee Mug</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
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<br />
Like, a lot more things:<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_bag_tag-256311346098411708?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="I Love You California Bag Tag" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/i_love_you_california_bag_tag-r1b9295a7e82447b4b2ddcc90d154ec3b_fuygx_8byvr_325.jpg" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_bag_tag-256311346098411708?rf=238836063965079126">I Love You California Bag Tag</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_skateboard-186864606623417769?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="I Love You California Skateboard" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/i_love_you_california_skateboard-rdd0e86529e954ea6836f69136e188949_xw0eg_8byvr_325.jpg" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_skateboard-186864606623417769?rf=238836063965079126">I Love You California Skateboard</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_stamp-172908037986844371?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="I Love You California Stamp" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/i_love_you_california_stamp-r9de622bde2454a09b103c811d5e14c87_zhods_8byvr_325.jpg" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_stamp-172908037986844371?rf=238836063965079126">I Love You California Stamp</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
<br />
<br />
And even changed the colors:<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_green_and_gold_piocdrawstringbackpack-256870202396962995?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="I Love You California--Green and Gold Drawstring Bags" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/i_love_you_california_green_and_gold_piocdrawstringbackpack-rc07e24b014cd467aaa421c0b6649b301_zffcx_325.jpg?rlvnet=1" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_you_california_green_and_gold_piocdrawstringbackpack-256870202396962995?rf=238836063965079126">I Love You California--Green and Gold Drawstring Bags</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
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<br />
Of course, there are many other fine states out there:<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/they_re_wearing_em_higher_in_hawaii_posters-228437299071008746?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="They’re Wearing ‘Em Higher In Hawaii Posters" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/they_re_wearing_em_higher_in_hawaii_posters-r9e0d36cd9464458aa5f8a654a553b7ff_i5wek_8byvr_325.jpg" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/they_re_wearing_em_higher_in_hawaii_posters-228437299071008746?rf=238836063965079126">They’re Wearing ‘Em Higher In Hawaii Posters</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/my_old_kentucky_home_christmas_ornaments-175368427063916019?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="My Old Kentucky Home Christmas Ornaments" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/my_old_kentucky_home_christmas_ornaments-r43c8900145fe47e5bc1c77705f5091ec_x7s21_8byvr_325.jpg" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/my_old_kentucky_home_christmas_ornaments-175368427063916019?rf=238836063965079126">My Old Kentucky Home Christmas Ornaments</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
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<br />
And countries:<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/my_own_dear_canada_tyvek_card_case_wallet-256585669017540900?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="My Own Dear Canada Tyvek® Card Case Wallet" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/my_own_dear_canada_tyvek_card_case_wallet-rc45c37b0065c4e639b20942d5bad7095_zikm2_325.jpg?rlvnet=1" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/my_own_dear_canada_tyvek_card_case_wallet-256585669017540900?rf=238836063965079126">My Own Dear Canada Tyvek® Card Case Wallet</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
<br />
<br />
And planets:<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/a_signal_from_mars_ipad_mini_cover-256492128002512145?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="A Signal From Mars iPad Mini Cover" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/a_signal_from_mars_ipad_mini_cover-r91f41f26859740b793cbff749e93af51_zwdbq_325.jpg?rlvnet=1" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/a_signal_from_mars_ipad_mini_cover-256492128002512145?rf=238836063965079126">A Signal From Mars iPad Mini Cover</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
<br />
<br />
To say nothing of the WWI propaganda art:<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/we_don_t_want_the_bacon_case_for_kindle-222266700907957600?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="We Don’t Want the Bacon Case For Kindle" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/we_don_t_want_the_bacon_case_for_kindle-r4942869043aa4d8183cc7278b744613f_ftdas_8byvr_325.jpg" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/we_don_t_want_the_bacon_case_for_kindle-222266700907957600?rf=238836063965079126">We Don’t Want the Bacon Case For Kindle</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
<br />
<br />
And kittens:<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/me_ow_shirt-235738160127348506?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="Me-ow Shirt" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/me_ow_shirt-rd1922777b0e04494bd6b2589017993c4_va6lr_325.jpg" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/me_ow_shirt-235738160127348506?rf=238836063965079126">Me-ow Shirt</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
<br />
<br />
And male cheerleaders:<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.zazzle.com/college_yell_fleece_blanket-256447239614637027?rf=238836063965079126"> <img alt="College Yell Fleece Blanket" src="http://rlv.zcache.com/college_yell_fleece_blanket-r7b0e1c12fe6147af83f4fbc1bee36c30_zkhkh_325.jpg?rlvnet=1" style="border: 0;" /> </a> <br /> <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/college_yell_fleece_blanket-256447239614637027?rf=238836063965079126">College Yell Fleece Blanket</a> by <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/musicallaneous*">Musicallaneous</a> </div>
<br />
<br />
Truly, there is something for everyone.<br />
<br />
*This means they are in the public domain, and I am not an evil thief.<br />
**Like Photoshop, but free. Good program.Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-55168440679461541562014-09-24T16:13:00.002-07:002014-09-24T16:13:57.541-07:00Lessons From A First Day of Run-CommutingMultitasking in the Key of Ow<br />
<br />
It seemed like a good idea at the time. The ferry terminal is only about three miles from my house, which is a doable but long walk. Taking the ferry home is nice, but it means that I don't have time to work out in the gym at work. So the solution was obvious: I should run home from the ferry.<br />
<br />
According to the internet*, run-commuting is actually <a href="http://theruncommuter.com/">a thing</a>, though most of the people who do it seem to be either serious racers or British. I am neither, but I thought I'd go ahead and try it anyway.<br />
<br />
So I bought myself a backpack, broke my shoes out of their cushy life on the treadmill and elliptical, and on Monday I gave it a shot. It went okay, but there were a few things I learned, which I thought I should share.<br />
<br />
1. When packing your backpack, do not load the keys, wallet and phone into the main compartment, where they will slide to the bottom and slam repeatedly into the small of your back.<br />
<br />
2. Speaking of backpacks, you are going to have to cinch that sucker <em>tight</em>. Get it so most of the weight is supported by the waist-strap and try not to wonder if you look more like a bunch of sausages or a trussed chicken.<br />
<br />
3. Despite its name, the MacBook Air does, in fact, have noticeable mass.<br />
<br />
4. People are going to look at you like you're doing something weird. They are right.<br />
<br />
5. Running outdoors with a pack engages certain sets of muscles that had thought they had retired to a life of leisure, and they will wake up cranky and confused. Calm them with regular offerings of ibuprofen.<br />
<br />
6. When you get home, you can totally have a piece of chocolate. Maybe two.<br />
<br />
<br />
*Motto: "Anything you can think of has already been done, and there is an official organization with fifteen pages of bylaws and a splinter group."Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-29821869457628114612014-09-16T13:58:00.002-07:002014-09-16T13:58:40.026-07:00#ProduceTipYour vegetables will look approximately 372% more glamorous if you put them in a fancy gardening basket.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic3Fw3u9BFE12tpCn1FYrMl-2Djyq2BkYRqk61LdFHiI60qgJrzv3c0AY-CUr7BvkEAEzLBbQ2uuocicwh98GQRv5a-pxA38uWw5ciiIJ68LQprAT_OmXO3mTH_5B20EVaRMbPtQ/s1600/IMG_0553.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic3Fw3u9BFE12tpCn1FYrMl-2Djyq2BkYRqk61LdFHiI60qgJrzv3c0AY-CUr7BvkEAEzLBbQ2uuocicwh98GQRv5a-pxA38uWw5ciiIJ68LQprAT_OmXO3mTH_5B20EVaRMbPtQ/s1600/IMG_0553.JPG" height="239" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wheelbarrow optional.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
On a related note, does anyone know what I can do with three habaneros? That won't kill me?Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-69944816565413458492014-07-31T18:42:00.000-07:002014-07-31T18:42:08.740-07:00Blogging the Met: Sherds(This post will make slightly more sense if you are familiar with <a href="http://youtu.be/wCF3ywukQYA">this video</a>.*)<br />
<br />
Sherds.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/vsz23.75.43a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/vsz23.75.43a.jpg" height="235" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/322529">Samarra, <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;">ca. mid-7th millennium B.C.</span></a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Sherds.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/ME57_99_11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/ME57_99_11.jpg" height="320" width="259" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/324713">Early Harappan, early to mid-3rd millennium BC</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Oh my God, sherds.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/21.2.111_EGDP011284.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/21.2.111_EGDP011284.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/551839">Predynastic Period, 3850-2960 BC</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Let's get some sherds.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/ME1972_222_42.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/ME1972_222_42.jpg" height="227" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/326099">Early Bronze Age, early 3rd millennium BC</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Let's get some sherds.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/01.4.63_EGDP010321.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/01.4.63_EGDP010321.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/552315">Early Dynastic Period, 3100-2649 BC</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Let's party.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/4cJsw-XhDjc" width="420"></iframe><br />
<br />
*Profanity Warning: Contains profanity.Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-82616118409807827602014-07-11T10:31:00.000-07:002014-07-11T10:31:30.119-07:00A Second Letter to Judy Wenzel of 307 N 12th Ave Wasau, WIDear Judy Wenzel of 307 N 12th Ave Wasau, WI,<br />
<br />
What happened last year? This is <a href="http://halfthefun.blogspot.com/2012/09/open-letters-to-stupid-people-dennis.html">the second time</a> you have used my email address to book yourself into a hotel during the month of September--this time it's the Best Western on 1001 N. 14th Ave in Sturgeon Bay, WI--and I can't help but notice that you skipped 2013. Was there a family emergency? Was $377.40 more than you were comfortable spending to spend three days in <a href="http://www.sturgeonbay.net/">Door Country's premier year-round city</a>? Or did you perhaps decide to experiment with using your own damn email for once?<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
The Person Whose Email You Use To Book Hotels Near the Great Lakes in September<br />
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<tr><td height="18"></td><td colspan="13"> </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-2171686211828114542014-07-10T13:19:00.000-07:002014-07-10T13:19:06.871-07:00The Fifth Annual Cheesemonger InvitiationalPicture, if you will, a cold storage unit in Long Island City. Outside it is a grubby wasteland of featureless warehouses and tiny pieces of broken glass, with only a few taped-up signs and a line of suspiciously young and well-dressed people to mark the door. Inside, a man in a cow costume is standing on a stage, calling himself "Mr. Moo" and periodically shouting things like "If you love raw milk, let me hear you say 'Mooo!'" to a moderately responsive crowd. Around the two large rooms of the warehouse tables have been set up, some offering small samples of cheese while others serve dishes like raclette and fondue and a ploughman's lunch with a whole roast pig. Drink tickets are handed out at the door, and then promptly ignored by the servers behind the two bars, who are distributing cans of craft beer and plastic cups of wine as fast as the lines can reach them. On the stage with Mr. Moo a small group of people who sell cheese for a living are preparing to demonstrate their skills. An Australian television personality stands by and tries to make sense of it all. This is the <a href="http://www.cheesemongerinvitational.com/">5th Annual Cheesemonger Invitational</a>, and I really wish I had thought to take some photos.<br />
<br />
We did not go to New York with the intention of having surreal cheese-based experiences. We were there to visit with friends, see the city, and maybe do a little shopping. But when the announcement of the event happened to cross my path two days before, I have to admit that I was powerless to resist. You know me.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
The scene inside was initially unpromising. The warehouse was packed, the crowd approximately 78% hipsters and the lines for the cooked foods wrapped in overlapping spirals around the room. But the bar lines were mercifully shorter and, as a veteran of the <a href="http://artisancheesefestival.com/">California Artisan Cheese Festival</a> I knew that, unlike wine tastings, cheese tastings did not lead to more, ever less restrained consumption, and the lines would be a lot shorter soon. So we got our drinks and our samples from the less-crowded sample tables, and picked out spots near the stage. Which is when we spotted Will Studd, the host of my favorite <a href="http://www.cheeseslices.com/">cheese-based travel show</a>. This was very exciting.*<br />
<br />
As for the event itself, it was a serious test of the competitors' cheese skills. The people who made it onto the stage were the finalists, having already passed through a day's worth of cheesemonger-relevant trials**. For the finals, they had to bring a handmade cheese sign, describe a favorite cheese and cut slices of precise weights from a large wedge of gruyere, among other things. It was a tightly fought competition, but I suspect the winner--<a href="http://blog.eataly.com/eataly-emily-acosta-wins-cheesemonger-invitational/">Emily Acosta of Eataly</a>--had it locked up from the moment she did her favorite cheese presentation in the form of a song set to the tune of "Let It Go." Sadly, there doesn't seem to be a video of her performance available online (she has a lovely voice), but you can find the lyrics at the above link, should you feel like dominating your next karaoke appearance.<br />
<br />
It was not a Broadway show, and even I will admit to having eaten at least slightly too much cheese. But it has long been one of my central principles of travelling to embrace the random, and on this one I have no regrets.<br />
<br />
<br />
*At one point when he happened to be standing near us, I introduced myself and told him we enjoyed his show. But beyond that I didn't have a lot to say, and the conversation sort of petered out. He seemed nice, if a little overwhelmed.<br />
**The Labors of Herculcheese? No.Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-46680381201970238222014-06-30T07:53:00.000-07:002014-06-30T07:53:54.407-07:00Live-Blogging the MetWell, live-tweeting actually, since blogger's mobile interface is, shall we say, poor. But if you feel like it, around 2 pm Eastern time I will actually be physically in the Metropolitan Museum of Art, looking at things and making comments about them on twitter, as <a href="https://twitter.com/daisyj">@daisyj</a>. I promise to try to find more interesting than uninteresting things, and while I make no guarantees, I think there should be a few available.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/DP109384.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/DP109384.jpg" height="320" width="319" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/547235">Yo.</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-48438189596599912992014-06-19T08:46:00.002-07:002014-06-19T08:46:32.541-07:00Blogging the Met: Mostly JarsThey have a lot of stuff at the Met<span style="font-size: x-small;">[citation needed].</span><span style="font-size: small;"> <a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/590790">Pieces of rock that might have been part of something</a>, <a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/571113">pieces of rock that might have been used for something</a>, <a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/324706">sherds</a>, etc. But, if you are going by the things they have collected that are not pieces of something else, a person might be forgiven for thinking the ancient world was made up almost entirely of jars.</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Big jars:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/02.4.33_EGDP012056.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/02.4.33_EGDP012056.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/547756">That, or they have some small jar stands.</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Small jars:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/12.187.14_EGDP010383.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/12.187.14_EGDP010383.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/552312">I just made some plum jam and put it in jars almost exactly this shape. Not pottery, though.</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Really small jars:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/1979.269_EGDP011489.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/1979.269_EGDP011489.jpg" height="320" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/571881">Or very large elephant tusks.</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Jars that are from somewhere other than the Middle East*:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/as/original/DP257874.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/as/original/DP257874.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/44723">Wait, are you telling me there were people in other places having cultures and stuff? I find that hard to believe.</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Jars that at one point had a person's organs in them**:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/14.7.17.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/14.7.17.JPG" height="320" width="178" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/547071">What do you do if you end up with some extra bits that don't fit?</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Jars that I quite like:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/36.1.28_EGDP010431.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/36.1.28_EGDP010431.jpg" height="320" width="253" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/558265">The color is nice and it just looks like something that would be pleasing to handle.</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Multiple-jar jars:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/ME62_65_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/ME62_65_2.jpg" height="231" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/325377">"Clockwise from the top, we have ketchup, mustard and our house made pepper sauce."</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Massively-multiple-jar jars:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/gr/original/DP116321.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/gr/original/DP116321.jpg" height="320" width="319" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/256548">"Starting in the center and moving out, we have. . ."</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Cow-shaped jars***:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/ME64_61.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/ME64_61.jpg" height="237" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/325678">Given as a gift to an Elamite woman who said one time that she liked cows, and ended up with a whole house full of cow stuff, because she couldn't figure out how to explain that she didn't really like them that much.</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Decorated jars:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/DP248670.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/DP248670.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/547296">The museum thinks it's a boat, but I'm seeing two air conditioner units riding a flying carpet.</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Undecorated jars:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/36.1.59_EGDP011560.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/36.1.59_EGDP011560.jpg" height="320" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/568263">Dirt doesn't count.</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Overly decorated jars:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/hb43_89_13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/hb43_89_13.jpg" height="320" width="285" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/323955">That's just tacky.</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Sauceboats:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/gr/original/DP1894.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/gr/original/DP1894.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/252902">Would someone please pass the twenty-two-hundred year-old artifact?</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
In conclusion: Jars.****<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
*China<br />
**Ew<br />
***This one may not actually be plural.<br />
****You would not believe how many ways there are to mistype that word.Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-20480706401463007002014-06-12T18:14:00.002-07:002014-06-12T18:14:32.184-07:00Blogging the Met: Some Interesting and Uninteresting ThingsOne of the problems I have with major museums is the inevitable feeling that you missed almost everything. No matter how dedicated you are, even if you wear ugly shoes, you are guaranteed to end the day tired, foot-sore and blurry-brained from information overload, and you still will only have actually looked at about 0.003% of the collection. And that's just the stuff on <i>display</i>. This has always made me feel like a bit of a failure, and frankly, I get enough of that in my normal life. I don't think I need to add it to my vacations.*<br />
<br />
Which is why I was so weirdly excited to learn that the Metropolitan Museum of Art (henceforth: the Met) had put their entire collection online (395,996 items, so far). I've decided to look at all of it, and an important part of that decision has been to not do the math and see if it is even remotely possible. I've decided to go chronologically.<br />
<br />
The earliest period chronicled by the Met is 8000-2000 B.C., which seems like a lot until you realize it's <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mljames656/mostly-jars/">mostly jars</a>. I'll be posting here about my discoveries and questions, and whether I ever figure out the difference between a "shard" and a "sherd." (They have both.) But first I thought it would be fun to look at some of the most interesting things I've seen so far, as well as some of the least interesting, because that's just the kind of person I am.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Interesting:<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/gr/original/DT252.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/gr/original/DT252.jpg" height="320" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/254587">Marble Seated Harp Player (Late Early Cycladic I–Early Cycladic II)</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I always like seeing my favorite instrument, but I'm not sure about this guy's technique. You get a better sound if you try playing the strings, dude.**<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/ME59_125.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/ME59_125.jpg" height="320" width="223" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/324393">Figurine (Akkadian)</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Is that a chicken-man? I think that's a chicken-man.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/99.3.4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/99.3.4.jpg" height="313" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/558274">Miniature House (First Intermediate Period-early Middle Kingdom)</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
This one's for you <a href="http://www.minichino.com/">Camille</a>.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Not Very Interesting:<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/ME62_70_40.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/ME62_70_40.jpg" height="168" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/325445">Unidentified Object (Early Dynastic II)</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Look, if you don't even know what it is. . .<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/59-103-22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/59-103-22.jpg" height="302" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/570931">Bee Amulet (Late Old Kingdom)</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
In what conceivable way does that look like a bee?<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/14-7-115.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/eg/original/14-7-115.jpg" height="320" width="217" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/571649">Pit From a Balanites Tree With Hole Caused By a Rodent (Old Kingdom)</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<h1 class="commentDescriptionContent" style="background-color: white; color: #171717; font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; max-width: 600px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">They seriously have, like 30 of these. I think the Met might be drunk, you guys.</span></h1>
<br />
<br />
*I have a longstanding dream to someday move to Paris for a year and test the theory that it would take that long to see everything in the Louvre, and then write a book about it. But that probably won't happen.<br />
<br />
**"<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Late Early Cycladic?</span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: UrbanoLight, arial; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;">"</span><br />
Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-90662806149049460342014-05-29T18:41:00.000-07:002014-05-29T18:41:18.964-07:00Blogging the Met: Fair Warning<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/DP226594.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.metmuseum.org/CRDImages/an/original/DP226594.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pictures of cats: Ancient Syrian Edition</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The Metropolitan Museum of Art has put its entire collection online. Naturally, I have decided to look at all of it.* Chronologically, of course. I'm in 8000-2000 B.C. right now, and it looks like this is going to take a while.<br />
<br />
I will be blogging as I go, of course, but if anyone is interested in playing along, I am posting a running collection of <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mljames656/met-interesting-things-8000-2000-bc/">interesting</a> and <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/mljames656/met-uninteresting-things-8000-2000-bc/">uninteresting</a> things I encounter on Pinterest boards. If I encounter any cursed mummies, I'll be sure to let you know.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
*Just the items that have pictures.Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-19578000995458614922014-05-21T08:21:00.000-07:002014-05-21T08:26:36.283-07:00Walk-Up Music Suggestions For the Oakland A's: Weirdness Edition<br />
<a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=502210#gameType='R'&sectionType=career&statType=1&season=2014&level='ALL'">Josh Reddick</a> of the Oakland Athletics is my hero. Not because he is a talented player on my favorite baseball team; that's a terrible reason to admire anyone.* But recently, and apparently on a whim, he decided to choose as his walk-out music "<a href="http://youtu.be/izGwDsrQ1eQ">Careless Whisper</a>," that George-Michael-and-a-saxaphone classic about the long-term affects of guilt on your feet and the rhythm thereof. And I think that's great. Not just the song, which is obviously awesome, but the addition of a little random weirdness to America's Pastime. Which, like so many things, could always use a little more random weirdness.<br />
<br />
I would like to encourage this sort of thing, so I have assembled a list of similarly-minded walkout songs for the rest of the A's position players.** Because, when you come right down to it, why not?<br />
<br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=444379">John Jaso</a>, C<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVVTZgwYwVo">Let It Go</a>, Idina Menzel<br />
Pros: Might mess with the pitcher's release point, increased ticket sales among coveted female 6-13 demographic.<br />
Con: The line "Cold never bothered me anyway" might be read as insensitive to attendees at 50-degree August night games.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=519083&c_id=oak#gameType='R'&sectionType=career&statType=1&season=2014&level='ALL'">Derek Norris</a>, C<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/tNBL5OMeuno">Yakety Sax</a><br />
Bonus points if everyone in the dugout runs around, ducks through doors, etc.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=502226&c_id=oak#gameType='R'&sectionType=career&statType=1&season=2014&level='ALL'">Craig Gentry</a>, CF<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/EPOIS5taqA8">Bette Davis Eyes</a>, Kim Carnes<br />
Brief delay of game as a karaoke competition breaks out in the upper deck.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=493316&c_id=oak#gameType='R'&sectionType=career&statType=1&season=2014&level='ALL'">Yoenis Cespedes</a>, LF<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/djV11Xbc914">Take On Me</a>, A-Ha<br />
TV coverage breaks for an ad so the third base umpire heads into the stands to officiate semi-final round.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=518626&c_id=oak#gameType='R'&sectionType=career&statType=1&season=2014&level='ALL'">Josh Donaldson</a>, 3B<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/lcOxhH8N3Bo">Total Eclipse of the Heart</a>, Bonnie Tyler<br />
In an upset, Bob Melvin takes the trophy with his surprisingly heartfelt rendition.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=452035&c_id=oak#gameType='R'&sectionType=career&statType=1&season=2014&level='ALL'">Kyle Blanks</a>, 1B<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/buGJvkCDMkk">MMM MMM MMM MMM</a>, Crash Test Dummies<br />
Everybody, hum!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=424825&c_id=oak#gameType='R'&sectionType=career&statType=1&season=2014&level='ALL'">Coco Crisp</a>, CF<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/KBWfUc5jKiM">Tiny Dancer</a>, Elton John<br />
Would this song inspire more, less, or an equal amount of arm-waving as Careless Whisper? Discuss.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=519299&c_id=oak#gameType='R'&sectionType=career&statType=1&season=2014&level='ALL'">Eric Sogard</a>, 2B<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/kmfeKUNDDYs">Hello Dolly</a>, Louis Armstrong<br />
You know what professional sports needs? More showtunes.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=346857&c_id=oak#gameType='R'&sectionType=career&statType=1&season=2014&level='ALL'">Nick Punto</a>, SS<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/cxjGlgmSJ8o">The Impossible Dream</a>, Brian Stokes Mitchell<br />
Showtunes!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=461235&c_id=oak#gameType='R'&sectionType=career&statType=1&season=2014&level='ALL'">Brandon Moss</a>, 1B<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/RCDDx2JFnaQ">And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going</a>, Jennifer Holliday<br />
SHOW. TUNES.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=476704&c_id=oak#gameType='R'&sectionType=career&statType=1&season=2014&level='ALL'">Jed Lowrie</a>, SS<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/Z0GFRcFm-aY">It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)</a>, REM<br />
Entire stadium: *mumblemumblesomethingsomethingLEO-NARD BERN-STEIN*<br />
<br />
<a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=430948&c_id=oak#gameType='R'&sectionType=career&statType=1&season=2014&level='ALL'">Alberto Callaspo</a>, 2B<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/od7-fyGa9DQ">Take Your Mama</a>, Scissor Sisters<br />
Let's see how far we can take this thing.<br />
<br />
*I am completely serious about this.<br />
**Pitchers will have to be another post. I'm thinking maybe TV theme songs?Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-49376989195403912002014-05-04T19:13:00.003-07:002014-05-04T19:13:28.255-07:00Rogue Tomato Goes RogueSome people say that tomatoes are choosy, delicate plants requiring only the best in soils, nutrients, and growing conditions.<br />
<br />
Rogue tomato would beg to differ.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe5rAuhx33-RY_A_Z9PPFxei7P-gSCeIKx5Tk4JmUFhqbdtdRD-4zVxKSALA21nJ4pvQ-jvbGO-wvec9ejVLeXAe2fhyKTiCyUez8cSrMN0iKbJY6cmLKS1sHN9GKi7RjJfxqfNg/s1600/IMG_0507.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe5rAuhx33-RY_A_Z9PPFxei7P-gSCeIKx5Tk4JmUFhqbdtdRD-4zVxKSALA21nJ4pvQ-jvbGO-wvec9ejVLeXAe2fhyKTiCyUez8cSrMN0iKbJY6cmLKS1sHN9GKi7RjJfxqfNg/s1600/IMG_0507.JPG" height="279" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You talkin' to me?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Rogue tomato sprouted from the seed of a fruit left to fall and sit on the ground through the winter because it was too gross to pick up. It set its roots in soil that manages to be at the same time both rock-hard and entirely composed of sand and sprouted through a layer of red rubber groundcover, spread for the express purpose of keeping things from growing. You can try to dig up and transplant Rouge Tomato to more comfortable environs, but I wouldn't advise it.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7gyvGQxyOhWh3fIu0SMZ8W-QGFSbYPIUfzfW4IlTFSGUjLdTo0bxqF9gkmbLPny0eTpXLciicyPE-ZLBCf0O4Akc7XlUv7zS_x4nBFpLjIGlfgODtLLnrWo7oiWo4fEu2w7k5eQ/s1600/IMG_0506.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7gyvGQxyOhWh3fIu0SMZ8W-QGFSbYPIUfzfW4IlTFSGUjLdTo0bxqF9gkmbLPny0eTpXLciicyPE-ZLBCf0O4Akc7XlUv7zS_x4nBFpLjIGlfgODtLLnrWo7oiWo4fEu2w7k5eQ/s1600/IMG_0506.JPG" height="239" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wimps.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
So, while the other tomatoes luxuriate in their raised bed, with their trellises and carefully composed soil, Rogue Tomato remains defiantly alive, where no tomato should be able to expect to live, down with the weeds and the slugs and the shoes of inattentive gardeners who weren't expecting to find a tomato there until they almost stepped on it.<br />
<br />
And you know what else? Rogue Tomato is not alone.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yo.</td></tr>
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<br />Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-41686119470434866082014-02-13T22:45:00.001-08:002014-02-13T22:46:09.267-08:00Rumpole Has No Time For Your Commercialized Romantic HolidaysRumpole wants you to know that Valentine's Day was just invented to sell overpriced cards, and he is totally not going to fall for it. If you need him, he'll be over here in the corner, glowering.<br />
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<br />Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10695194.post-73721902311503885132013-09-04T16:33:00.000-07:002013-09-04T16:33:42.762-07:00Confused Tomato: The LegacyOnce upon a time, I planted a tomato upside-down. <a href="http://halfthefun.blogspot.com/2010/05/confused-tomato-is-confused.html">It was not pleased.</a> There was <a href="http://halfthefun.blogspot.com/2010/05/confused-tomato-defying-gravity.html">denial</a>, there was <a href="http://halfthefun.blogspot.com/2010/06/confused-tomato-finds-way.html">determination</a>; there was even <a href="http://halfthefun.blogspot.com/2010/09/confused-tomato-makes-friend.html">a victory of sorts</a>. But there wasn't a whole lot of actual tomatoes.<br />
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Things are a little different now.<br />
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I wasn't sure that this side of the bay, with its fog exposure, was going to be any good for growing tomatoes, but I was determined to try.<br />
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So were they.<br />
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In retrospect, I may not have needed to plant quite so many.<br />
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Thanks to the general weirdness of the climate around here (woo! Fogust is over!), the season is only now getting started, and most of my harvest so far has been the hybrid cherry tomatoes (sweet 100s).<br />
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See? They're just shy.<br />
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Eagle-eyed readers will have noticed by now that none of these plants are upside-down. That's because, thanks to Confused Tomato, I now know that tomatoes are strict conformists when it comes to gravity-orientation, and to try and force my media-derived notions of technological progress on them is never going to end well.<br />
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They don't mind the occasional stake, though, and they're not afraid to get outside of the box.<br />
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We all need a little help making our way up sometimes.Daisy Batemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.com1