4/1/2008 News Roundup

Po Voted Out of Teletubbies
Smart Bitches and Dear Author Merge, Report on Emerging Literary Trends
YouTube Comes to Its Senses, Features Fine Selection of Videos
Google/Virgin Team Up to Announce Virgle
Zimbabwe Election Results Remain Unclear

Is Someone Trying to Tell Me Something?

Apparently, I am not meant to get to work this week. On Wednesday it was (potential) jury duty, yesterday I had to get new tires and now I learn that all lanes of 880 are closed just past my exit because of a spill that was initially called sewage, but now is being described as "milk by-products". Either way, it's at least ten miles of stop-and-go traffic, and I honestly think my best bet is going to be to go across th Bay Bridge, through San Francisco, down 101 and back across the Dumbarton. Which is a ridiculously long way around, but I guess I should face it; there's no use driving over spilt milk.

Four Things I Learned Today, And One I Already Knew

What I Learned:
1. When a tire catastrophically fails at 75 mph, it sounds like whup whup whupwhupwhupwhupWHUPWHUPWHUPWHUPWHUPWHUPWHUPWHUPWHUP
2. It takes a long time for a tow truck to reach you on 880 during rush hour.
3. The CHP maintains a fleet of tow trucks that patrol the freeways, looking for disabled vehicles and helping and/or towing them for free so that they do not disrupt the flow of traffic.
4. You still have to pay the tow driver you called forty dollars, even if your tire has already been changed by the time he gets there.


What I Knew:
1. It's really pathetic that I can't change a tire.

Rare Proof That There is Justice in the World

Yesterday, when I was near the end of my long commute home (on 980 just before 24, if you must know) I encountered an obnoxious driver. "That driver is obnoxious," I thought, as he swerved around me while I was signaling a lane change, then almost ran someone who was merging onto the freeway off the road. I kept driving, and came up to the exit for MLK, where you have to merge with the traffic coming in from 24. So I was going along, merging away, when who should come up whipping around the shoulder than my friend from the freeway (somehow, his tricks had gotten him stuck back behind me, which he was now making up for). He came around and cut in two cars ahead of me and he was probably feeling pretty good about himself. But, the thing is, he was so concerned with gaining a few spaces on the rest of us suckers that he didn't notice the reason everyone else was being so courteous ("After you." "No, after you.") was that there was a cop car about four slots back from me. And sure enough, as soon as the road widened again, Mr. Oakland Policeman pulled out around the rest of us, and as I was making my way through the stoplight I got to see him come up behind that guy with his flashers on and pull him over. And I thought, "Ha!"