Step 1: In the morning, apply a thick line of Urban Decay 24/7 Eyeliner in Zero (black). Apply mascara, if you remember.
Step 2: At lunchtime, go to the gym and run four miles on the treadmill. Sweat like a skillet full of finely diced onions on medium heat.
Step 3: Take a shower in the gym locker room, wash your face with the soap from the dispenser, which is exactly the same color as the shampoo, dry yourself roughly with one of the provided towels.
Bonus Tip: If at all possible, try not to get more than five hours of sleep a night for the preceding week.