The You Paid How Much? Gift Guide

What to buy for that person who has everything, except taste and a brain.

Loro Piana checkers mat, $2050

If I am going to be dropping upwards of two grand (plus shipping) on a piece of felt, I would frankly expect to see an actual picture of it first.

Playing cards sold separately.

Jack Spade scarf, $165

There is nothing wrong with the idea of a humorous novelty scarf that looks like a hotdog. There is, however, something very wrong with the idea of paying $165 for a humorous novelty scarf that looks like a hotdog.

"Survey Stick", $350

Po-TAY-to/po-TAH-to; beat-up old ruler you stick in the garden to tie up your tomatoes/"survey stick" worth a hundred dollars. Let's call the whole thing crap.

Boy. Band of Outsiders poncho, $495

Emergency poncho, $3.99

 One of these things is just like the other/One of these prices is totally wrong/Can you tell which thing is for stupid people/Do you even remember this song?

Maison Martin Margiela snowglobe, $195

This, my friends, is a two-hundred-dollar plastic snowglobe. With nothing in it.

It's backordered.

Happy Thanksgiving

Things I am thankful for, a short and incomplete list: my family, my friends, the deliciousness of cheeses, the A's playoff run and the fact that I was able to sufficiently recover from my bout of food poisoning in time for dinner today. Have a great holiday, everyone, and whatever you do, don't eat the sushi from the cafeteria.

Springtime For Deathtraps

No musical numbers, but my newest Death Traps story has just been published by the brilliant podcasters over at Escape Pod. In it, Xnab and his crew address the eternal question of what to do when you have locked the keys inside your treasure chamber, and whether the apocalypse is really just a case of bad QA.