Every Book Ever Written: Condensed Version

Self Help:
If you want something, work hard to get it, but remember that you may need extra skills and some luck.

Weight Loss:
Calorie Input > Calories Expended = Weight Gained
Calorie Input < Calories Expended = Wieght Lost

Memoir:
Everything that ever happened to me is Very Important, because it happened to me.

Romance:
"I don't love you."
"I don't love you either."
"I love you!"
"I love you too!"

Thriller:
"Look out!"
"Oh no!"
"Whew."

Mystery:
"I don't know."
"I don't know."
"I don't know."
"I know!"

Science Fiction:
The future? Gonna suck, but the clothes will be cool.

History:
And now they're all dead. The end.

Literary Fiction:
Everything that ever happens to these characters is Very Important, because they are characters in a work of literary fiction.

Business/Investing:
It's easy to get rich, but it takes a lot of money.

Travel Narrative:
I had a great time on my trip! Wanna see some pictures?

Fantasy:
We don't need no steenkin' internal combustion engines.

Celebrity Autobiography:
Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Why can't I have any privacy?

Political:
We're all going to die, and it's all their fault.

Children's Board Books:
Printed with non-toxic ink.