Let's see what all the wealthy idiots will be wearing this season, shall we?
"But Fairy Godmother," said Cinderella. "What if I get cold? It is the middle of fall, after all, as we can see by all these ripe pumpkins."
So her fairy godmother gathered up a horse blanket and a couple of shower mitts and waved her wand, and in a flash of light they were transformed into a lovely coat.
"Now remember," the Fairy Godmother said. "You must be home by midnight, before these things turn back into the pile of trash that they are and you end up looking ridiculous."
Imagine, if you can, the process involved in buying these. A person, presumably sober, walking into the store, sees these pants, picks them up and decides to try them on, all without laughing so hard he has a seizure. Looking at himself in the mirror, he decides that yes, these are worth almost nine hundred dollars of his money. And then he pays for them and leaves, without once stopping to evaluate how his life got to this point.
Boggles the mind, doesn't it?
Nothing says kicky fun like contemplating suicide!
For some reason I am feeling a sudden impulse to tease my bangs. Someone hand me the Aquanet.
Paging Dr. Sparkles!
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