If there is one thing that every hipster in America can agree on it is that they are definitely, totally not hipsters. It reminds me of a VH1 special I saw, about the greatest disco songs, where every single one of the bands insisted they were making soul music or R&B, not disco; including, I believe, the band that recorded "Disco Inferno." I was thinking about this and it occurred to me that, regardless of the social and psychological implications, what we had here was a product opportunity. Therefore, I present to you: The "I'm not a Hipster" line of products.
Of course, it's not just about what you wear. Sometimes what you drink can be just as critical.
Like your barrel-aged artisanal ale:
Or even your single-origin, blonde-roast coffee:
Frankly, I think you should get at least one of each. You can't be too careful with these things.