Salmon Dance!

It's the craze that's sweeping the nation!



Also, it's delicious with a sour cream and dill sauce.

Project Hairway

I love Project Runway, because it has highly skilled people competing in what they are best at. And I love judging people because, who doesn't? But, since every blog maintained by a female between the ages of fifteen and thirty-five has long since done a rundown on the contestants, I thought I would judge them by their hair:

Carmen: Highly sculptural: part high fashion, part horrible incident in a wind tunnel.







Chris: Standard male haircut, $12.99 at Supercuts.








Jack: Standard male haircut, $250 at sleekly minimalist salon.







Steven/Rami: Taking the graceful approach to male-pattern baldness and elimiating the evidence.







Kit: Very late-period Cyndi Lauper, but in a good way.







Christian: "A Flock of Seagulls in high humidity."









Elisa: Hair is pleasant, attractive. The crazy is in the eyes.








Jillian: Perfect pretty princess curls. I'm not sure quite why, but I seem to hate her.







Kevin: This season's token straight man celebrates with some wacky facial hair.







Ricky: Wears a lot of hats: the "hoping no one will notice" approach to male-pattern baldness.

Update: Having seen the latest episode of the show, I can confirm that he is not, in fact, bald. The reason for the hats remains a mystery.




Sweet P: Like her, hate the bangs. Not so much "stylish and youthful-looking" as it is "mutton dressed as lamb."






Victorya: Hair that will stop at nothing to win.

The Payoff

I think we may perhaps have had enough food.

So About To Be A Lifetime Movie of the Week

Beauty Queen Sabotage

Thanks to some backbreaking investigative work, I have managed to uncover rare video of the tragedy:

Happy Day of Turkey!

It's eleven am here in the not-quite-frozen north of California and the nutbars are cooked, the pies are in the oven, my cheese ball is about a quarter consumed, I've washed two batches of dishes and I'm stirring the stuffing while Mom prepares the 25 pound turkey for the oven and Uncle Bruce plays his banjo. Here's to family and not burning the food.

Enjoy your tryptophan comas everyone!

Incredibly Irritating TV-Ad Line Heard Today, November 16th

"Time is running out to finish your Christmas shopping."

Therefore, in the spirit of the season that is clearly almost over, I say: "Bite me, Santa Clause 3."

What Do We Want? Residuals! When Do We Want Them? Later!

I'm not exactly a pinko commie strikelover, but I kind of think they have a point.


Update: The Colbert Report writers chime in, with their anything-you-can-do-we-can-do-half-an-hour-later contribution.

New Zealand Photos

STA_0493
Originally uploaded by Daisyj

I finally got the pictures from New Zealand uploaded. You can look at them here, and then I will finally shut up about my trip.

Pancakes in a Can?

Pancakes in a can.

I am horrified, yet oddly thrilled.

Down the Hobbit Hole

That's right; pictures from New Zealand are now off my camera and ready for uploading. Be very afraid.

On the Nature of Hell

Sartre famously said, "Hell is other people." I say, "Hell is other people you work with who are bored because they already packed everything for the move, and have come into possession of a very large amount of bubble wrap."


p.s. Having spent most of the week so far listening to every pop song that ever charted in the seventies (long story), I am also willing to consider the possibility that Hell is Muskrat Love.

Ladybug, Ladybug

Ladybug, ladybug, ladybug, ladybug, ladybug, ladybug, ladybug, ladybug, ladybug, ladybug, ladybug, ladybug, ladybug, ladybug

On Friday evening, when I came home, I found a ladybug on my doorframe. I captured it and put it outside, and when I came back in I noticed another. And another. In fact there were probably about a dozen of them crawling around on the corner above the door, apparently the result of a mass ladybug hatchery. It was like a scene from a tiny, adorable horror movie. Eventually, I managed to capture most of them and get them outdoors, but a few got away:



I have a feeling I am going to be finding ladybugs around here for a while.

iArrgh

Recently, it happened that I turned thirty, about which the less said the better. But one postive side effect was my resultant aquisiton of an iPod touch, which I had wanted very badly. So you can imagine my disappointment when I got it home and found that my computer firmly believed it to be a camera. This turned out to be an OS issue which, after several attempts and an encounter with the phrase "panic: we are hanging here" I managed to resolve, only to find that now my computer refused to acknowledge it at all. At this point I abandoned my independent principles and took myself to the mad carnival of capitalism that is the Apple store on a Saturday afternoon. It took a while, but the guy who was helping me eventually determined that my problem was that I had the overwhelming nerve to attempt to continue using a computer that was nearly six years old, and there was no hope for me. I pointed out that this sucked and he agreed. But, all is not lost. For one thing, thanks to the move, IT seems to have disabled some of the security barriers on the work computers and I may be able to install iTunes there. And, for another thing, music appears to be only the start of the fun with this thing. For example, you can write blog posts on it.
Your hand does get a bit cramped, though.

Cubefarmed

The transition is complete: I am now a corporate drone.



And I don't even have a window.

YouTube Friday: The Triumphal Return

"How Your Cat Wakes You Up in the Morning"



It's funny 'cause it's true.


(Thanks to Mary for this one.)