NEWSBREAK: Exploding watermelons terrorize Chinese countryside*
Police departments nationwide have been put on high alert for produce trucks entering population centers and gardeners are encouraged to register existing melon patches with Homeland Security. Should you happen to see any unattended fruit, do not approach it; retreat to a safe distance and contact the authorities immediately.
*Some aspects of this headline have been exaggerated for dramatic purposes.
**Link courtesy of Aftertime.