Handy Holiday Gift Suggestions

Is there a girl aged 5-9 years* in your life? Does she like Hello Kitty? Well, you could get her something like this:



You know, if you don't care about her at all.

But if you really want her to be happy, you'll buy her this:



Sure, it costs 25 grand, but really, can you honestly put a price on a child's happiness?**


*I am aware that some of the above may actually be intended for real, fully grown adults; I simply refuse to accept it.
**Yes: $25,000. Or $5 for a tube of cookie dough.