Two half-empty bottles flat beer, 1/2 package salt pork, 1/2 bundle dinosaur kale, 1 shallot (purchased), container of lentils, 2 cartons expired chicken stock (1 opened, partly used), salt, pepper*
2. Brown the salt pork
3. Chop and add the shallot.
4. Add the beer.
5. Add the stock, bring to a boil, then add the lentils.
6. Chop and add the kale.
7. Get another carton of stock out of the cupboard and add that.
8. Cook until it seems done, adding salt occasionally. Serve and eat.
*Didn't end up using the pepper.