Kids Not Playing Enough at the Dinner Table?

Why not get them lightsaber chopsticks?



Problem solved!

The Voice

It's time for SF Sketchfest again, and last night we went to see Ask a Ninja, featuring Liam Sullivan (aka Kelly, of Shoes fame). They didn't interact, which was kind of a disappointment, but were pretty funny independently, all the same. This is one of the videos from the show (the other being equally funny, but so filthy that I can't even mention the topic of it here, seeing as this is a family blog*):




The payoff is good, but I think my favorite part is the random stuff he's saying while walking around. "Who drives a Saab?"


*In the sense that my entire family reads it.

Guest Blogging!

That's right; the lovely ladies over at Pens Fatales, due to either desperation or head injuries, have invited me to write a post for them today, during their shoe-themed week. I have no idea how my name happened to come up. Please stop by and read and leave a story of your favorite shoes, past or present, in the comments.

When Guys Shop

Fun fact about me: I have no ability to estimate the actual size of a thing based on the dimensions. This has led to certain problems, specifically in the area of buying earrings online. (Honestly, why do they make those things so huge? Do they think we have steel-reinforced earlobes?) So it was that when Cameron said he wanted to get a big new TV, and that he thought 55 inches would be about right, I said, "Hmm, sounds biggish, sure." (That the diagonal was only eleven inches shorter than my actual total height somehow failed to occur to me.)

Biggish:




I'm not complaining, just surprised. It is a large television. But the high-def is fantastic and our SuperBowl party should be a big upgrade over last year's, where it was too much trouble to peer at the tiny screen of my old TV, so everyone pretty much just sat around and ate snacks.

Have Nuts? Have a Party!

What? I'm just telling you what it says on the side of this jar of peanuts I bought:



What did you think I was talking about?

Shoesday: Sitting on the Dock Of Ebay

Sometimes, when you set out shopping, you know exactly what you want and exactly where you're going to get it. And sometimes you just type "faryl robin" into the ebay search box and see what happens. You know how it is.

Odd Food Item of the Day

Goldfish Smores




Because, when I think S'mores, I think fish.

Your Friday Musical Interlude

Daft Punk Hand Dance:



It's hand-boggling!

The Hours Aren't Great, But You Wouldn't Believe the Benefits

This sign showed up outside the bathrooms at work the other day:



Yum!

The Hair Experiment: Day Hat

Materials & Methods:

Hat.


Makes me look like:

Hat.


Conclusions:

Hat.

Shoesday: I Dare You

Confession: Sometimes, when I am shopping, I can be a little impulsive*. Sometimes it can be problematic (I will find a way to wear that sparkly gold bow-belt. I swear it.) but sometimes it can work out surprisingly well. These shoes, for example. I saw them on the sale shelf at Anthropologie, in all their high-heeled, platformed, gold-and-brown-and-purple-colored glory, and a few random neuron firings later said,"Yes, I need these." And the funny thing is, it turned out I did.

So this week, I'm making Shoesday interactive. I want you, the next time you're shopping, or surfing the web, or riffling through your neighbors' closets, to go for something different. Something weird. Something that should not, in any reasonable world, made good sense. Go to ebay and search "scales"! Wander through the fringe section on Zappos! Sure, most of what you will find will, in fact, be deeply horrible, or just a big bunch of no, but what the hell, right? You never know; you might come up with something unexpectedly just right.



*Not the same as being compulsive, which is a different problem. Repulsive happens only at certain stores.

How Did You Live Without Them?

As I head off to a weekend free of internet, I would like to leave you with a few items to contemplate, courtesy of one of the catalogs that was in our mailbox when we moved in. I'm sure their usefulness will be immediately apparent.


Lettuce Knife and Keeper






Gumdrop Tree




Piece of Wire With an Alligator Clip




Oddly Elaborate Microwave Smores Maker




Banana Cover (No, Really)

Shoesday: The Relocation

"Huh," you are saying to yourself right about now. "That doesn't look like the usual high-quality Shoesday picture, complete with feet. Also, it's Thursday. What gives?"

"Cut me a break," I snap. "I've only spent the last week moving into a new apartment, where we don't have internet yet, so I can't blog from my home computer, which is where all the pictures are. Plus, I've been so busy with the move that I never even got around to writing the post about how much I hate moving, which is too bad because it had some good lines."

"Hey no need to get touchy," you respond, miffed. "I was just asking."

"Sorry," I apologize. "We don't have the cable hooked up yet either, and I'm missing the premiers of both Idol and Project Runway. But I think you should give me some credit for getting some kind of post up this week, even if it is kind of late and half-assed. Anyway, these are some shoes I bought recently and had delivered to work, and haven't brought home yet because that location has been in the process of changing. I haven't even put them on yet, but they look cute, and I like the wide heel. Should be nice for summer, I think."

"Sure," you agree. "Yellow is always a fun color. And hey, Idol never gets interesting until after the audition rounds anyway. But jeez, clean your desk once in a while, would you?"

The Hair Experiment: Day 4

Materials & Methods:

Same as Day 1, parted on the opposite side. Eyes closed because I'm looking directly into the sun. Eyeshadow from Abigail's Christmas present.

It's just like:

Looking in a mirror.


Conclusions:

I thought that maybe the hairdresser had cut it so it would look better parted on the left, because when he started he said, "So you part it here" (indicating this side) despite the fact that I had come in with it parted on the right, the same as I always do, ever since I realized the folly of parting it down the middle. So I thought I'd give it a try. However, it seems that either I or my hair is resisting the change, and the part has migrated center-ward, giving me the ever-desirable peaked-head effect.

Here, I try to drive it back:

Pilot Squirrel Gets His Plane

Things had really been turning around for Pilot Squirrel. He was free from Gloworm's head, in the light and air for the first time in years, and no one had yet tried to chew off any of his remaining appendages. And now, to make it even better, he had his plane back!

The Hair Experiment: Day 3

Materials & Methods:

Dried straight, pulled back with clips and Amrita Singh headband.


Results:

Generally positive, does emphasize the fact that my head is more square than not.


Makes me look like:

Princess Sparkle


Conclusions:

Anything that sends me on twenty minutes of looking at eighties toys can't be all bad. Anyone else remember Sweet Secrets?

You Look Kind of Down

Holidays are over, and being back to normal life just isn't as much fun, is it? Well, I've got something that should cheer you up:

SEAL PHOTOBOMB!




(From the Huffington Post)

Shoesday: Boots on a Plane

(We interrupt your ongoing hair-based whining to bring you your regularly scheduled post about shoes. We are nothing if not consistent in our shallowness.)




Because I consistently overpack for just about any trip (I like to have options), it has long been my policy to wear the bulkiest pair of shoes I'm bringing on the plane. In my earlier life, when I had more energy than interest in fashion, this was generally my hiking boots, putting me ahead of the curve in the taking-your-shoes-off-at-security trend, due to the steel reinforcement, but more recently it has become boots of a less functional sort.

Which has led to a few incidents of me sprinting barefoot through various airports, because I tend to cut it kind of close when it comes to air travel, if by "close" you mean "with enough time to catch the plane or put my boots back on, but not both." Also, I can run faster that way.

At any rate, on a recent trip to Canada I managed to keep these boots on for long enough to get on the plane, but took them off as soon as I was seated, because who wants to keep their shoes on for six hours? Though I do tend to reconsider this strategy when I have to visit the airplane bathroom. But, aside from that, and the fact that they took up a fair amount of the space under the seat in front of me, I thought this was a fine idea. Until it came time to put them back on.

It turns out my feet swell on long plane trips. In fact, they swell a lot. They blow up like little balloons with toes. I don't know how I didn't notice this before; either it's a new development or I had never worn shoes where it was a problem before.

It was a problem.

I don't know if you can tell, but these boots do not have side zippers. They are in the "pull-on" style which, if your feet have swollen a bit, is more the "pull, and pull, and swear and stomp, all while stuck in your cramped airplane seat" style. It was like trying to stuff an angry blowfish into a sausage casing.

Unfortunately, not putting them on wasn't an option. I was in Canada, and you wear shoes there. So I stomped and tugged and crammed, and eventually forced my balloon-feet into the boots. But it was definitely a learning experience: Next time, I'm packing smaller feet.

The Hair Experiment: Day 2

Contrary to what the guy at Peets said this morning, I don't think this is going well.



Materials & Methods:

Rubbed a small amount of Bumble&Bumble curl cream on my hands and scrunched it through my hair while drying on the low setting.


Results:

Not so much with the curls. Could generously be called "wavy."


Makes me look like:

Debbie Gibson after a three-day bender.


Conclusions:

Might settle down to looking a bit better, once the post-drying craziness wears off. Might not.

The Hair Experiment: Day 1

If you read yesterday's post, you are aware that I am not happy with my new haircut (for those with an allergy to clicking through, I will summarize: I got a new haircut, and I am not happy with it). But that was yesterday. And today, when I got up at nine-thirty and staggered past the mirror on my way to a restorative bowl of cereal, I realized: I really don't like my haircut.

But am I dismayed? Discouraged? Hopeless? Yes. But I have to do something with it until it grows out, so I thought I'd do an experiment and run through the options. Yesterday's photo, no styling at all, will serve as the control.

Therefore, I give you, Day 1:



Materials & Methods:

Sprayed with Bumble&Bumble thickening spray, blow-dried using a small round brush.

Results:

More body, not flipping out at odd angles (see unstyled control).

Makes me look like:

A member of Duran Duran.

Conclusions:

Could be worse. Could be A Flock of Seagulls.

New Year, New Hair

And, to tell the truth, I'm not very happy about it. Although, on the upside, it will probably end up saving me a lot of money.

Allow me to explain.

I've been going to the same, ruinously expensive, hairstylist for several years now. I like it because he does some sort of fancy coloring process that takes about three minutes for highlights, instead of the usual half-hour of noxious chemicals, and I've always gotten a good haircut, even if he does tend to overstyle it. For the last couple of years it's been a little trickier to arrange my appointments, because the salon is in Berkeley and I am now in San Mateo, but those facts and fear of the new kept me loyal.

But this week I was off from work and, since I was headed East anyway for a party, I decided to combine the trip and made an appointment for the afternoon on New Years Eve. Feeling like something different, I suggested a shorter cut, maybe just to the top of the jawline, with some short layers around the face. The stylist nodded, played with my hair a bit, and said a few things in stylist-ese that I agreed to because that's what I do. Besides, I trusted his judgement, right?

Well.



There is a problem. The problem is that I have had this hairstyle once before, for the entire duration of 2001, when I was growing my hair out from the extremely short style I had had all the way through high school and college. It was a transitional period, and it was not my best time ever, looks-wise. And now I have paid a large amount of money to have it reproduced. You can imagine how I feel about this.

Now, it is possible that I may be wrong, that it is only my associations with the look that are making me dislike it and I will be able to style it so that it looks, in some way, stylish. And it will, of course, grow out, which I am seriously looking forward to.

And when it does, one thing is for damn sure: I am not taking it back to that place.