Thursday, February 23, 2012

Isn't That Pinteresting?

Fans of pointless social networking activities and terrible puns will be thrilled to learn that I have started using Pinterest, the very latest social media fad to mince down the pike. I don't fully get it*, and there are plenty of things that are annoying**, but I'm finding it handy for collecting items to be used in future blog posts. This one has things I'm finding for the next ugly clothes post, with drafts of potential jokes, if you're interested. There are probably other things I ought to be doing with the site, to drive up my social networking profile or whatever, but I can't really be bothered to figure them out.

I guess I'm just not that pinvested.

*I'm starting to suspect that I may, in fact, be old.
**Like the "apply for an invitation" signup and the fact that they randomly have you follow a bunch of people without asking.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

You Paid What?: Kitchenwares Edition

Fashion is all well and good, but there are plenty of other ways you can waste your money. Such as by buying a selection of nearly-useless kitchen implements. Most of these are not that expensive in absolute terms, but they still cost far more than they are worth, which is nothing, minus the cost of the space lost in your kitchen.

Jar Scraper
Who buys jam that's so expensive that it's worth the ten dollars for a special scraper to get the last bit out? Just buy another jar of jam already.

Mini Pie Lifter
There are first-world problems, and then there is not being able to lift your mini-pies out of your mini-pie pan without damaging their crusts.

Toaster Pastry Press
We have reached the point of spending time and money to make fancy, imitation versions of cheap convenience foods. We are so far down the rabbit hole that even the rabbit is like, that's really overdoing it.

Cupcake Corer

Asparagus Pot
If you cook enough asparagus to need this item, then I do not want to ever get anywhere near your bathroom.

Waffle Tongs
Meatball Tongs

Because God Forbid you ever pick up any item of food without having the appropriate tongs. I knew someone who knew a girl whose cousin tried to pick up a meatball with her waffle tongs, and her hand fell off. True story.

Bread Cutting Board
I could actually use something like this, because we get a lot of crusty bread and the crumbs get all over the counter. But for two hundred dollars, I think I'll just stick with a damp sponge.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Comedy Tonight

There are lots of good things about winter in the Bay Area, like that we don't have one, but the SF Sketchfest is right up there.* Without it, I never would have gotten to see Dana Gould in full monkey makeup, performing as Hal Holbrook doing Mark Twain for the benefit of John Hodgman, and neither would you. But more on that in a minute.

But first, let's watch an Australian sing about prejudice (contains some bad words, but not the one you're thinking):

(This one's for you Abigail.)

And now, to transition from music to monkeys, a song about a monkey (sort of):


And now, a video that probably needs some introduction, but I'm not sure there's any way to make it make sense. But I can say that if you do not push play, then you may never see Dana Gould playing the role of Dr. Zaius playing the roll of Hal Holbrook playing the role of Mark Twain, and do you really want to live a life like that?

*Credit to Mary for introducing me to this, lo those many years ago.**

Friday, February 03, 2012

Open Letters to Stupid People: Sukhmander Singh Who Owns a 2000 Toyota Camry

Dear Sukhmander Singh Who Owns a 2000 Toyota Camry,

Congratulations on the oil change on your 2000 Toyota Camry. That was very responsible of you. Most people with a 2000 Toyota Camry might not think it is worth taking it in to the dealer, POWER TOYOTA OF BUENA PARK, to have the oil changed, but you know how much a twelve-year-old mid-size sedan is worth. ($3,802) But you know what you don't know? That it is not very nice to use someone else's email address to schedule the appointment for your 2000 Toyota Camry, Sukhmander Singh. Even if someone I can only assume is a relative of yours (given that they have the same last name and live in the same town) has used it before, that does not, in fact, make the email address yours.

The person whose email address you and your family have been using.

P.S. Was it the insurance policy on the 2000 Camry that you wanted to exclude Jaskaran Singh from? Because that doesn't really seem like it would be worth the effort.