Oh, Great

We have quotas now?

Service Has Been Called

Well, I'm glad they're doing the necessary repairs:

But what exactly do they think we do in the office bathroom stalls?

Look! Up In the Sky!

A little excitement at work this morning, as it turned out our building was directly on the path the Endeavor flyby.

Naturally, everyone in the office park came out to watch:

(Not pictured: A whole bunch more people, including a group on the roof.)

We waited, and looked at the sky, and waited some more, and our site head threatened to make us go inside and do work and we waited a little more. Planes flew by on their way to SFO, causing brief, confused excitement, until a fuzzy dot appeared over the trees.

"That's it!" said the people with binoculars.
"Really?" said the people without binoculars.
"We're on the wrong side of the building," said the people with spacial sense.

A brief sprint later, we were able to get a slightly better view:

And then an even better one:

And then I stopped taking pictures for a little while, because some things are better actually seen than watched on a tiny screen while trying to focus.

And then it was gone:

Bye, shuttle.

May I Be Excused?

I know I haven't been posting much here lately. The thing is, work has been kind of busy:

Maybe more than kind of.

Why Did The Snake Cross The Path?

To escape the paparazzi.

Guess I can strike "wildlife photographer" off my alternate careers list.

Why Don't You Get Back To Me When You Figure It Out

Apparently, even the people who work at the cafeteria aren't that sure what goes into the food:

Reorg Day!

It's like this, but with more button-downs.

I Have The Same Problem with 'Mississippi'

From this week's cafeteria menu:

I'm pretty sure all the letters are in there, at least.

Worrying thought: Where are they finding their recipes?

It's Called "Personal" Hygene; Let's Keep It That Way

Things that disgust me, in ascending order:

1. People brushing their teeth in the work bathroom.
2. People flossing in the work bathroom.
3. The spatter of toothpaste and crud on the mirror that persists for the rest of the day due to people brushing and flossing in the work bathroom.

It's not that I want your teeth to rot; it's just that I'd rather not be a spectator in the process.

Egrets, I've Had a Few

Some things look a lot more impressive before you take a picture of them.

Let's Do Some Math!

Drugs - People = Money

Drugs - Money = Huffing Whipped Cream Cans at Safeway

(People - Money + Drugs)*Dignity^-1 = VH1

People - Pictures + Words = Newsweek

People - Words + Pictures = Star

People + People = Hell

Money + Money = Problems + Problems

Money + Money + Money = Must Be Funny In a Rich Man's World

Money + Money + Money + Money = Money!

Socks + Boots + Drugs - Money = These.

You Know How It Is

A couple of the SOBs I have to work with:

What? It's Monday.

Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?

Science Tip of the Day:

When applied to dry ice, 70% ethanol does not remain liquid.

I does, however, provide you with the means to make the World's Nastiest Snowball.

Science: Providing you with information you can use, but probably shouldn't.

Feet?

This is a sign that's posted on the Caltrain shuttle:

And this is the only type of openable window on said shuttle:

I don't know about you, but I really want to see someone try.

My Project For The Day

Should keep me busy for a while.

UPDATE (11:00 am):

Progress!

UPDATE 2 (4:30 pm):

Success!

On the Inspirational Properties of Travel

I'm back!* Yes, having survived my sojourn to the wilds of the Northeast, during which I had to contend with my inadequacies at a) candlepin bowling, b) pool and c) explaining what it is I do for a living without giving away the fact that I don't entirely understand it myself, I have returned home and to my true calling of writing severely run-on sentences for the internet. And despite what I just said, the trip was actually pretty good, though more so in the parts where Cameron and I were visiting Mary and Sean's lovely place in Cambridge, and less so when I struck off on my own for the work conference at the site in not-exactly-as-lovely Worcester. But, hey nothing wrong with meals you can expense.

There were plenty of interesting and informative presentations at the conference, some of which I even stayed awake for, but by far the best thing I learned there is that our company's laboratory site in that city** was built on the grounds of an old insane asylum. My boss, who was sitting next to me at the table at dinner when we learned this (and is aware of my not-exactly-literary ambitions) immediately declared that I should write a book about that, and I think he may be on to something. I mean, just think of the possibilities!

It starts slowly; a mysterious image in the UV picture of an agarose gel, a pool of blood on the floor that everyone blames on the guy doing the whole-blood work, even though he swears he didn't do it. Then all the mice in the animal facility start murdering each other, and someone discovers that the cold room has been maintaining its temperature despite the fact that the compressor has been broken for several months, and whenever anyone tries to generate a protein sequence all they can get, no matter what the real sequence, is a long series of repeats of "aspartic acid-isoleucine-glutamic acid."*** Then someone stays to work late, and the next morning his body is found in the autoclave, and pretty soon all kinds of science-type Hell is breaking loose. 


I think it could be a hit.


*Since Wednesday night. But I think it's petty to dwell on details like that, don't you?
**I'm avoiding mentioning my employer by name here on the off chance that someone there has figured out how to use google alerts, and puts me on some kind of watchlist.
***For assistance in understanding this joke, please see this page.

Well, What Is It Then?

Also, the toaster oven is not a dust mop and the refrigerator is not a banjo.

You're welcome.

I Am Not Making This Up

You thought I was exaggerating about my cubicle neighbor's insanely sycophantic conversation style? Well, I have here a transcript of the majority of the things she said in about two minutes of conversation that proves that I wasn't:

"Okay."
"Absolutely"
"Yeah"
"Yeah"
"Yes, exactly"
"Right"
"That's interesting"
"Interesting"
"Right"
"Right"
"Sure"


Can I start screaming now?

Why Does Country Music Always Know?

This song captures my week so perfectly, I can't even tell you*.



Maybe not in the specifics, but definitely in the general sentiment.


*No, really; I'd get in some serious trouble.

Shoesday: We Can Dance If We Want To*. . .

. . .As long as we file a Dance Requisition Form with the HR department, complete four hours of training and can demonstrate that the dance could not be provided by an approved minority-owned business.

Recently, the small biotech company I had been working for was acquired by a much, much larger company, which will remain nameless because I'm not that stupid. There are a lot of benefits of working for a major multinational, such as the benefits, and the potential for job mobility, and the greatly reduced chance that I will show up at work one day and be told we've run out of money. So it' got that going for it, which is nice.

But it also has a lot of bureaucracy, and a lot of lawyers, and where you have both bureaucracy and lawyers you have rules. A lot of rules. And since I work in a lab,** we have special lab rules. Like not being allowed to walk through the lab without full protective gear (gloves, glasses, labcoat), and that we can't use 70% ethanol anymore because it's dangerous (I wish someone had told me that at about ten-thirty, three Saturdays ago). And, most critically for me, no fabric shoes are allowed.

Which is where these come in. I mean, forget leather, what can be more safety-conscious than shoes made entirely of plastic? They even have three straps, for extra security! Okay, so breathability is kind of a problem, and the Vivienne Westwood aspect may make them slightly inappropriate. But whatever; nobody's told me any rules about wearing sexy shoes in the lab.

Yet.




*It's a safety dance!
**Most dangerous thing I deal with regularly: deionized water.***
***Okay, sometimes hydrochloric acid. But not that much.****
****And I guess the e. coli would be bad for me if I actually ate a bunch of it, but I'm not exactly inclined to do that.