Three Things You Probably Already Heard About

But better safe than sorry:

On the one hand, this seems like an excellent idea. On the other hand, having people dressed in full-body-suits grab children in dark movie theaters seems like it might have the potential to go wrong in some way.

Final, irrefutable proof that having a child makes you insane.

Sometimes, completely excessive setup for a very silly payoff is totally worth it. (I am particularly entertained by the Jenga one.)

Also: Can someone explain why the internet has gone suddenly crazy over the Gangnam Style thing? I mean, it's fun, but it's no cat trying to fit into boxes of decreasing size.

Reorg Day!

It's like this, but with more button-downs.

Comedy Tonight

There are lots of good things about winter in the Bay Area, like that we don't have one, but the SF Sketchfest is right up there.* Without it, I never would have gotten to see Dana Gould in full monkey makeup, performing as Hal Holbrook doing Mark Twain for the benefit of John Hodgman, and neither would you. But more on that in a minute.

But first, let's watch an Australian sing about prejudice (contains some bad words, but not the one you're thinking):

(This one's for you Abigail.)


And now, to transition from music to monkeys, a song about a monkey (sort of):

Aw.

And now, a video that probably needs some introduction, but I'm not sure there's any way to make it make sense. But I can say that if you do not push play, then you may never see Dana Gould playing the role of Dr. Zaius playing the roll of Hal Holbrook playing the role of Mark Twain, and do you really want to live a life like that?



*Credit to Mary for introducing me to this, lo those many years ago.**
**2007.

"What if I'm asked to take part in a beach assault with the Royal Marines?"

It's the first question* on anyone's mind when faced with the job of choosing a small hatchback. Fortunately, when the fine people at Top Gear do a road test, they do a road test.



*Followed closely by "What if I go to a shopping center** and get chased by baddies in a Corvette?
**Spelling adjusted for regional differences.

So You Think Finland Can Dance

Do not ask why I was searching for "Finnish Tango" on YouTube in the middle of the day. Just enjoy this video about the hairstyles and leisure activities of the mid-eighties in Finland, and appreciate this quote from the intro:

“. . .A country where gloom is pervasive. Melancholy, sorrow and shyness abound. All this, though, is alleviated by a massive intake of alcohol.”

Josh Ritter: "Stuck to You"

One of my favorite singers performing an awesomely nerdy love song. So great:

I Like My Version Better

Recently, I mentioned to Cameron that really I liked the song "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz. It's fun and upbeat, the sort of thing that would make good workout music, and it had a lyric I particularly enjoyed, about getting ready to go to a club "wearing on my favorite pants." Unfortunately, on a further listening, Cameron pointed out that the line is actually, "wearing all my favorite brands," which is clearly correct (and better grammar), but not nearly as fun. I mean, who can't relate to the feeling of getting ready to head out for the evening, favorite pants on and ready to party?



Other songs I do my own lyrics to:
The Colors of the Wind by Vanessa Williams ("The herring and the otter are my friends")
Bad Romance by Lady Gaga (I've managed to get it stuck in my head with the corrected grammar.)
Kyrie by Mr. Mister
This one isn't even mine; a guy called into a radio show where they were talking about misheard lyrics and shared it, and I liked it so much I adopted it.

Everybody!

Carrying a laser down the road that I must travel
Carrying a laser through the darkness of the night
Carrying a laser where I'm going will you follow
Carrying a laser on the highway in the light

(@Abigail: possible theme song for your lab?)

A Day at the Races

If you were to see me today, you might notice that something is a little odd. "Why is she walking like a brain-damaged penguin?" You might wonder. If you had some free time, you might even ask me, "Hey, what's wrong with you? Did you lose a fight with a thigh-high bulldozer? Is it even possible to win that fight?"

"Actually," I would say, "I ran a half marathon yesterday. Do you want to hear about it?"

"No," you would reply.

"I'll take it from the beginning," I would go on.

5:30 am: Alarm goes off. Briefly consider throwing it across the room, but decide against because it's also my iPod. Stagger out of bed wondering why I ever thought this was a good idea. Dress in the running clothes I had laid out the night before (magenta quick-dry shirt, gray cullotes w/ yellow knee ties, plain but functional sneakers, blister-preventing socks, clips to keep my hair out of my eyes). Figured out (with help from Cameron) how to use the "lap" function on my watch. Ate a granola bar, drank some sports beverage. Wondered who I was and what I had done with Daisy.

5:52 am: Relayed the critical information that I was about to run a half-marathon via Facebook and Twitter.

6:15 am: Left for San Jose. We knew the way, and besides, the freeway signs are well-marked. I don't know what the big deal is about that.

7ish: Parked at HP Pavilion. Marveled at the percentage of females in the crowd. Apparently, if you think you never see women in the South Bay it's because they're all out distance-running. Walked over to the start area, decided to use the porta-potties before they got too nasty. Checked in gear, stretched, did a warm-up jog, realized we needed to use the porta-potties again. They had gotten nasty.

7:55 am: Ate a packet of mint chocolate gu. Not entirely disgusting. Said temporary goodbye to Cameron as we split off into our respective start groups.

8:00 am: Race starts!

What I Love About Country Music

The way it expresses subtle emotions:

Joey + Rory, "Cheater, Cheater"*



I think the errors add a certain je ne sais spelling.

Danielle Peck, "I Don't"



Not the greatest song ever, but with one of my favorite lyrics of all time in the chorus.

Speaking of which. . .

Hayes Carll, "She Left Me For Jesus"




All of which, of course, just leads me back to a classic:

Mary Chapin Carpenter, "The Bug"



Have to say, never really thought of Xena when I heard that song, but I'm sure I will now.




*What, exactly, is the point of posting a video on YouTube and disabling embedding? Do you not want people to do your promotion for you?

Emmy Awards Opening Number

The Emmys were, in general, so boring that even though I was stuck on a plane with a limited number of channels and nowhere else to go, I still ended up watching people race food trucks instead, but this opening number, featuring pretty much everyone on TV, is fantastic and you really have to watch it before they pull it off YouTube:

Songs of Summer

Well, we've had the sliding door open, and the cat has spent most of the day lying on his side in cool spots, so I am forced to conclude that it must be summer. And where you have summer, you have summer music, those annual songs played on infinite repeat on your local pop station for three months and then never heard again. This year is no different, well-populated with terrible, terrible songs-- I would rather gouge my eardrums out with a popsicle stick than to have to listen to "My First Kiss," "Billionaire," or (urg) "California Gurls" again. But there is hope, good music out there, some of which has hit potential. Therefore, here are my choices for songs of the summer that do not suck.


Michael Franti, "Shake It"



Fun, bouncy goodness.


B.o.B. feat. Hayley Williams, "Airplanes"



Already a hit, the only major summer song so far that doesn't make me crazy when it gets stuck in my head.


Taio Cruz, "Break Your Heart"



Actually made the charts a while ago, but I think it has the staying power to carry through August.


Clay Walker, "She Won't Be Lonely Long"



The first time I heard this on my country station, I thought it had been around for years. That's a compliment.


Adam Lambert, "If I Had You"



I'll admit, I was not Team Glambert during his Idol run. But this is just pure, catchy dance-pop fun, and the sooner it drives Ke$ha et al off the charts, the better, as far as I'm concerned.

This Octopus! Let's Give Him Boots!

O Fortuna: Misheard Lyrics Version



(via EW.com)

"You Don't Deke Margaret Atwood"

In honor of the Sharks actually making it out of the first round of the playoffs, I give you Margaret Atwood: Poet, Novelist, Goalie.

"The Fools! They Never Understood My Vision."

Possibly due to his disappointment with the ending of "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus," a wild octopus tries to take matters, and a diver's camera, into its own tentacles:



"Here I'm panicking a bit trying to unwrap the tentacles from my wrist."

The Internet Finally Reaches Its Full Potential

As an egg timer.

Why the Biathalon Is the Greatest Sport of All Time

Or, at least, why it should be.

And the Nobel Prize For Best Use of Ghillie Suits in a Music Video Goes To

OK Go, "This Too Shall Pass"

The Voice

It's time for SF Sketchfest again, and last night we went to see Ask a Ninja, featuring Liam Sullivan (aka Kelly, of Shoes fame). They didn't interact, which was kind of a disappointment, but were pretty funny independently, all the same. This is one of the videos from the show (the other being equally funny, but so filthy that I can't even mention the topic of it here, seeing as this is a family blog*):




The payoff is good, but I think my favorite part is the random stuff he's saying while walking around. "Who drives a Saab?"


*In the sense that my entire family reads it.

Your Friday Musical Interlude

Daft Punk Hand Dance:



It's hand-boggling!

Country Music Word Problem II

Question:

What is the AMA-recommended treatment for a busted give a damn (see supplemental materials, below)? Chose one option and explain your selection in the space provided.

a) Elevate, apply a cold compress.
b) Immediate surgery.
c) Tourniquet!
d) Five shots of tequila, egg the sumbitch's car.



Supplemental Materials: