Friday, August 31, 2012

The Eh Files

Some questions:

At what point in your criminal career does it seem like a good idea to steal maple syrup? 
Are there specialists in this?
Will one of them appear in Ocean's 18.3.1, played by Dana Carvey?
How do you fence it?
"Hey, so I know a guy who knows a guy who can hook us up with some of the good stuff, man. I'm talking like, primo Montreal grade A amber, you got me? This stuff is sweet."
Should law enforcement be taking a close look at this group?
Or how about these hardened criminals?
"Strategic maple syrup reserves?"
What kind of strategy involves maple syrup?
Should Buffalo be worried? 

Bonus conspiracy theory:
I recently learned that FEMA maintains a "Waffle House Index" as a way of judging the severity of a storm's effects on an area by what they're serving, based on that chain's top-notch disaster-response strategy. ("If you get there and the Waffle House is closed?" FEMA Administrator Craig Fugate has said. "That's really bad. That's where you go to work.") But I ask you, what does a company known for getting back on track no matter what the circumstances do when their supply chain is disrupted? Might a stockpile of unattended syrup be too tempting a target? What's a little light larceny when compared with the needs of a desperate, waffle-loving public?

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I Sense Great Fail Here

Commes des Garcons shirt, $395

The problem, you see it not? Explain with an infographic I will.

UPDATE: Also, $485 seems like a lot for Yoda pants.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

This Week In Alcohol-Induced Behavior

This guy was found drunk and naked with a lab full of monkeys, and these guys founded a Hall and Oates-based SuperPAC.


Thursday, August 23, 2012

Thurscheese Special Edition: The Wedding Cheeses

By popular demand!

Big thanks to Crys for getting this picture. I meant to take one, but as you can see, I was busy.
 From the top:

Smokey Blue

All credit for this one must go to the guy at Country Cheese in Berkeley, who was instrumental in putting this selection together. I knew we needed a blue but didn't have one in mind, because a person can only plan so much, and he was extremely helpful and knowledgeable about their cheese selection. I highly recommend it if you are ever in the Berkeley area and need some cheese, or bulk granola, or Vietnamese spring rolls. It's a full-service kind of place. Anyway, all I know about this one was that it was described as the "smokey blue" and it did indeed have a pleasant smokey flavor.

Cave-Aged Gruyere

From a cave! A longtime favorite of mine; if I was going to make a cheese-based greatest hits album this would totally be on the first disc. The fun part about this, besides eating it, was that our friend at the cheese store (I really should have learned his name-- I think he was the owner) very kindly cut a center section, to minimize the amount of rind. Which meant that the way people cut pieces out of it, it ended up looking like one of those rock formations in the background of the old roadrunner cartoons.

Humboldt Fog

One of the very first cheeses I blogged about, though at the time I was under the mistaken impression that it was a blue. (It's not. The line through the middle is actually vegetable ash. No, I don't know why.) There was more of this one left than any of the others, which may have less to do with its popularity than with the fact that I bought an entire wheel, because when else am I going to get that chance?

Pierce Point, Cowgirl Creamery

Another favorite. And I want you to know that there is no truth to the rumors that I insisted on scheduling the wedding for the middle of summer because that's when this cheese is in season. This was the most local cheese we ended up serving, which is terribly un-trendy of us, but I think we can all agree that the whole "all of this food came from within fifty feet of here" deal is getting a little tired. Unlike the delights of cheese, which are unending.

English Cheddar

Our second selection brought to us by the fine people (person, mostly) at Country Cheese was a very nice cheddar, because everyone likes cheddar. Light color, medium-sharp, not at all crumbly. Went very well with the crackers. I wish I had really thanked the cheese guy adequately for his help and the volume discounts, instead of paying with a credit card like an ingrate who doesn't care how much it costs his small business. My only defense is that it was a very busy Saturday, and it's hard to carry around enough cash to buy that much cheese.

Fromage d' Affinois

Never a bad idea. This is the only one where we had nothing left over, despite the fact that we had an entire wheel when the party started. I hope there was enough for everyone to try some.

Friday, August 10, 2012

And They Lived Happily Ever After

So, about a week ago, I went ahead and got married. You know, it was a Sunday, nothing else to do, and I had this dress, and we'd rented a chapel and a reception hall and ordered catering for seventy people, so we figured hey, what the heck.

The flowers were nice.

The Bentley was running, and it only smelled a little like burning oil.

We had plenty of wine.

(Not pictured: Also plenty of cheese.)

My hair looked good.

And my shoes were awesome.

Overall, I'm calling the event a success.

(Photo credits David Bateman.)